Sometimes I Want The Biggest Piece Of Cake

A few years ago I was watching my husband serve cake and I noticed that he gave himself the biggest piece. I started paying more attention to how things were distributed. When I made dinner (or dessert) I gave my husband or my daughter the most, the biggest, the best looking, and let’s be honest, the least burnt of whatever I was making. I kind of just assumed that was what every cook did. Not my husband. He gave himself the prime choice.

Then I noticed that, given the choice, my daughter did the same. She’d try to get the biggest or best of what ever was being offered. This didn’t just happen with food either. It happened with all sorts of things. At first I thought getting the smallest piece was just a mom thing. Mom’s sacrifice for family all the time. My behavior wasn’t anything new or special. This was completely normal behavior and something I could blame on socialization and uber capitalism.

Then I observed myself stepping aside so other people, even non-family members, could have the first pick, first opportunity, best seat, or most coveted of whatever was being coveted. I figured they probably wanted it more than I did or possibly deserved it more than I did. I’d pride myself on being polite. I didn’t seem to need the biggest or the best. I just sat back and watched everyone else trying to get it. On the plus side I never had to feel bad for taking what someone else wanted. I could make-do with the smallest piece of cake guilt free.

Sometimes I Want The Biggest Piece Of Cake

After a while I started to wonder about myself, what kind of person doesn’t try to get the best or the most of everything? Was this a sign of low self-esteem? Was I so afraid of disappointing someone else that I would happily disappoint myself instead? I started to think about all of the opportunities and experiences I may have missed out on by settling for second best. All of the opportunities that had gone to someone else out of etiquette. Should I be resentful? Angry? Sad? Was there any benefit to perpetually occupying last place?

The answer to all of my questions was yes. Yes, sometimes I have let people have things because I thought I didn’t deserve them. I’ve suffered from Impostor’s Syndrome and that has stopped me from asserting myself more, but I’ve also found great joy in watching other people get what they want. I like giving my husband the least burnt toast and my daughter the biggest piece of pie. I like to see their faces light up. I enjoy seeing people who have worked hard win.

Still, I know I am angry with myself over some missed opportunities.  I am often frustrated with my incessant need to be nice while simultaneously struggling with feelings of guilt over the times I have chosen myself first. Those moment often appear in my thoughts when I go to bed. My personal, guilty boogey man.

Then I questioned if I was truly being nice. Maybe I was trying to avoid conflict. I’ve always found winning embarrassing. Maybe I just wanted to avoid the responsibility that comes with being or having the best.

I finally came to the conclusion that it was complicated. Navel gazing almost always is. It’s one of the quickest ways to exhaust yourself with mental gymnastics. There is no one answer and like most of life we are delving into many layers of gray and hoping to come out with something in black and white. I decided I should take action. All of this thinking wasn’t getting me anywhere anyway.

I gave myself the biggest piece of cake.

My family was shocked, but I think they understood when I explained that sometimes I want the biggest piece of cake too. The world didn’t end. I do, however, have to exercise more. The biggest piece of cake comes with a lot of extra, empty calories which means getting the biggest piece of cake may not always be what it is cracked up to be.

 

 

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DIY Fairy Garden Play Set For Kids

I made a DIY fairy garden play set for my daughter and now you can make one too!

DIY Fairy Garden Play Set

Here is the supply list:

  1. Wooden Doll People like these I bought on Amazon.

2. Artificial flowers (bought mine at the Dollar Tree).

3. A  plastic tray (another Dollar Tree purchase).

4. Small clay pots (or even plastic will do).

5. Sharpie Fine Point Markers or paint to draw the faces.

6. Hot glue gun.

7. Scissors.

WARNING: Depending on how old your child is they may want to help create the fairy garden. They may want to draw the faces or choose the flower parts to make hats, clothes, and wings. My daughter helped with both. If this happens, your fairies will be perfectly imperfect, so give your kid the tools and hum “Let It Go” to yourself as you lose total control over your craft.

Then just make your own fairy garden exactly the way you want it.

DIY Fairy Garden Play Set For Kids

 

Step 1: Pull apart your artificial flowers and decide which parts would make nice hats, wings, and skirts (or any other clothes you want). My daughter wanted a crown on her King and Queen so she found some flower parts that worked. You may need the scissors to make bigger holes or to cut individual petals.

Step 2: Using the hot glue gun glue your flower parts to your wooden dolls. We made skirts out of petals, crowns out of the greenery, and wings out of both. To make the wings you can fold one side of a petal and glue it into a point and then glue the point side to the dolls back. Let the glue cool.

***Hot glue is hot so never let little kids use it. They will get burned.

Step 3: Using Sharpies (or if you have a very steady hand, acrylic paint will do) give your fairies some faces. My daughter wanted to have a baby fairy crying and a grumpy mom (I have no idea where she got that idea). The ink does bleed a little so make sure you give yourself enough space when making the eyes or they will turn into two blobs. If this happens you can pretend your fairy has two shiners that he or she received after getting into a drunken brawl before visiting the garden. Probably not a great thing to tell the kids, but I am sure you can come up with an equally as entertaining story. Perhaps something like this: Ms. Fairy was crying so much that her mascaara ran…or even better just turn those eyes into sunglasses and call her a “beach fairy.”

Step 4. Get the plastic tray and hot glue the pots and flowers to it to create a garden. We left our pots empty because my daughter’s fairies like to fly in and out of them, but you can fill yours with flowers or turn them on their sides.

DIY Fairy Garden Play Set

Step 5: Let your kids play with the fairies in the flower garden. When they are finished they have a cute little play set that can be left out as an indoor fairy garden decoration. For extra fun leave little notes from the fairies for your child. Trust me, they love that sort of thing!

Step 6: Pat yourself on the back for making your own toy. High-five your spouse. Strut around your living room like a super hero mom or dad. Then go read a book, take a bath, or drink coffee and stare out the window completely lost in your own thoughts, while your kid plays quietly for the next 5-20 minutes.

Enjoy!

 

P.S. Links on this page go to Amazon and if you purchase these items I will receive a small percentage of the sale. Thank you for helping me keep this blog in business!

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How To Shower In A Public Bathroom While Camping If You Are Six Years Old

How to shower in a public bathroom while camping if you are six years old: An Instructional Manual.

How To Take a Shower In A Public Bathroom While Camping If You Are Six Years Old

Step 1: Run to the bathroom as fast as you can, confident your mother has brought everything you need.

Step 2: Attempt to input door code slowly, twice.

Step 3: Cry that you input door code too slowly and it won’t open.

Step 4: Tell mom to open the door.

Step 5: Run as fast as you can into bathroom.

Step 6: Say hello to all the people as if they have been waiting for you to arrive.

Step 7: Listen to mom tell you to go into shower stall, but ignore her until she says it at least three times.

Step 8: Hit the button on the air dryer for fun.

Step 9:  Enter shower stall.

Step 10: Loudly exclaim that “…it smells like poop in here.”

Step 11: Remove clothing as slowly as possible.

Step 12: Get in shower.

Step 13: Complain it is too hot.

Step 14: Get out of shower.

Step 15: Get back in shower.

Step 16: Complain it is too cold.

Step 17: Get out of shower.

Step 18: Get back in shower and pretend to wash body with soap until mom looks furious.

Step 19: Use the soap to draw on shower wall.

Step 20: Yell at mom that you are washing your body.

Step 21: Declare body clean and demand mom wash hair.

Step 22: As soon as shampoo hits hair scream that you have to pee and run out of shower,  through bathroom, past grandma’s who gasp at your nakedness, and enter toilet stall.

Step 23: return to shower.

Step 24: Say loudly, “I decided to pee in the shower instead.” Then ask, “Don’t you do that at home too, Mom?” as loudly as possible.

Step 25: Rinse soap and shampoo off.

Step 26: Get out of shower and realize mom forgot your towel.

Step 27: Dry wet body on mom’s T-shirt.

Step 28: Put clothes on.

Step 29: Scream while mom attempts to brush hair.

Step 30: Pretend you are dying from hair brushing.

Step 31: Unlatch shower stall and run for camp with tangled, wet hair flowing down back.

Step 32: Yell, “You’re mean!” to mom while running away.

Step 33: Completely ignore mom as she says she may never take you on vacation again.

Step 34: Roll around on dirty floor or ground as soon as possible.

Step 35: Avoid taking another bath for almost a week.

 

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