I have to confess I have a Linkedin profile, but I don’t really know what belongs there and what doesn’t. I live in a part of the country where employers probably don’t care much about Linkedin. They’d rather judge your character by your lineage or college transcript. The Internet is trickling in slowly here, but I have a feeling we are behind the times when it comes to online hiring. Plus, my jobs are not exactly professional in nature. I have a blog, I make piñatas, I sell art, and I am a mom. This doesn’t sound like the stuff Linked-In dreams are made of.
Still, here I am posting my blog to Linkedin like I am the hired entertainment for the professional crowd. Hired might be too strong of a word. A better description might be: Unpaid Intern. I might be a good example of what not to do if you plan to have a successful and high paid career ahead of you. I might be the back-woods cousin everyone on Linkedin tolerates for a while simply for the comedic value. So I just keep smiling and waving and pretending I belong in the Linkedin community, just in case I do. You never know, right?
I can’t help thinking about all of the things I would like to put on my Linkedin profile just for the humor involved. I could say I am a professional butt-wiper and list my credentials. Or, maybe I can be an expert plant killer or perhaps list the many awards I have received for paying my electric bill a day late, every single time, for the past three months. Maybe I could be a backyard snake videographer or “life of a child” documentarian. It’s a shame that with all of these skills I am gaining as a mother and a blogger that there is nowhere to acceptably list them on my Linkedin profile page. Employers don’t want to hear about the time I fixed my dishwasher with a screwdriver and a YouTube video. They probably don’t care that I can write a blog post, tell my husband where he left his keys, and help my daughter blow her nose all at the same time. Or that I can chat on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ while simultaneously pinning the recipe I want to make for dinner on Pinterest. I mean sure, other people know important things and have important skill sets, but I know how to get things done. I know how to learn new things on an hourly basis with multiple people talking or yelling at me. Sure, some of those things I have learned include how to cut the toenails of a squirming child or runaway dog, but somebody has to make these things happen, right? These are special talents too, are they not?
Mostly, I just want to tell people on Linkedin that I can make a balloon animal that looks just like a dog. It’s my newest skill. I just don’t know if it is linkedin material. It’s not like I am about to graduate from clown school or have plans to open up a birthday party planning business anytime soon. It’s just that I think the fact that I learned how to make a balloon animal is really cool and I want the world to know it. Even if it doesn’t land me that corporate job with a corner office and a window. I may not be relevant, but at least (hopefully) I am interesting. So, here I am Linkedin. I hope you can put up with my shenanigans and regard my attempts at professionalism with kind and forgiving eyes.