Tag Archives: food

I Do Not Know What To Eat Anymore

 

I’ve been kind of freaking out lately about our food supply. I mean we have pink slime, pesticides, added hormones and food from China that may or may not be coated with lead paint. It’s a lot to deal with. I’ve also had this desire to go vegetarian ever since I read the book Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. I just never quite took the plunge. My short subscription to PETA’s email didn’t help much either (that’s some scary sh*t). I mean PETA made me want to stop eating meat, but I didn’t. I kept eating it anyway and eventually I had to unsubscribe to the PETA newsletter because the images were too horrific and they also made me feel really guilty and sad. Going vegetarian has it’s own problems like I really LOVE bacon and also steak. On top of that most of the vegetables at the store have been genetically altered, aren’t organically grown, and are waxed for your viewing pleasure. I have friends who swear all grains are bad and then those that swear by the Atkins diet ( until their kidney’s almost shut down). I know people that eat only raw foods and some only cooked. Organic, not organic, almost organic…I’m not even sure what it all means anymore. It’s tricky trying to figure out what to eat and what is healthy. With all of the fears revolving around food these days it’s amazing any of us are alive at all.

Fruits with peels…safe?

 

So, mostly I just try not to think about it too much. Then, there are days like today where I get out my vegetarian cookbook and make a completely vegetarian meal with all new recipes that require both the blender and the chopper. It wasn’t the best day to turn into a spaz about healthy eating. Tiny-Small was up for about three hours last night reenacting a dance party in her crib complete with Michael Jackson “Owe’s!” and gibberish singing. Then she spent the day being a total crank. She screamed when I picked her up and screamed when I put her down. She threw temper tantrums over imaginary injustices, socks, and the fact that the sun was shining. It was the day from hell and of course I decided to cook an elaborate dinner with a healthy dose of foodie insanity. It was the only way to make my day complete!

Rosie: Definitely not edible

 

I decided to make fresh roasted bell pepper soup with corn cakes and cilantro pesto with a side of fresh bread sticks. As soon as I got out the vegetables and started chopping the dog wanted to go out. Then the other dog wanted to come in. Then Tiny-Small wanted juice. No she didn’t. Yes she did. Then she cried. Then the dog wanted to go out again and the other dog that was already out wouldn’t stop barking and meanwhile the onions were starting to burn.  Then the blender was too loud and Tiny-Small wanted to wear my apron. Then she wanted me to wear my apron. No she didn’t. Yes she did. Then she screamed. Then the UPS guy came. Shoes were delivered and corn cakes were burnt on one side. Finally I bribed Tiny-Small with some dark chocolate and an Elmo movie and everything settled down long enough for me to finish making dinner. It was an exercise in multitasking and fractured thinking, but I think I passed. Tiny-Small is a chocoholic and I am like her drug dealer. She begged, “Chocie…Chocie” and I caved in. She had three Hershey kisses before dinner. She still ate dinner though so it wasn’t a complete and total parental fail. Also, she ate her vegetables so extra points for that, right?

 

I figure if we cut down on meat consumption and try to go vegetarian a few days out of the week it will be a start in the right direction and will hopefully relieve me from some of my guilt about animal cruelty and some of my worry about pink slime and other bacterial horrors. PETA gave me nightmares and that Skinny Bitch book left me feeling envious of the author’s will power and stamina. I’m not sure I will ever become a total vegetarian, especially if my husband has any say in the matter, but at least I am trying. Tiny-Small refuses to eat most meats as it is so I think she is going to follow in her Auntie’s footsteps. My sister has been a vegetarian for over a decade now. Maybe Tiny-Small will be the catalyst to spur on my vegetarian convictions and propel me into a healthier, sustainable lifestyle. Until then I’m probably going to keep eating bacon once in a while. I just can’t seem to help myself.

Lucy says, “Eat broccoli not dogs.”

Wonder Woman And The Cookie-Pop Fiasco

 

It was a rookie mistake, at least that’s what I told myself. I overfilled the cookie pans. The cookies overflowed as they baked becoming one big, sponge-like, yet crusty mess with sticks coming out from four sides. You guessed it, I was trying to make cookie-pops. This fad has probably come and gone for the rest of you because it just caught my eye. I am always fashionably late for anything fashionable or a day late and a dollar short as my father-in-law likes to say. It’s not the end result, but the effort I put into it or is it the journey that is supposed to matter most? Enough with all of these sayings! My point is the end result was a disaster and it makes me feel better to pretend it was all about the journey, but we all know cookie-pops are all about the end result and not at all about the effort part or the journey.

It all started when I went to a Quinceanera last weekend and enjoyed eating cookie-pops. Then, the very next day, I was wandering aimlessly through Walmart where I discovered an entire aisle devoted to cake and cookie pans and supplies. After a few days of debate with myself, I went ahead and bought what I needed to make these delicious cookie treats. I imagined all of the amazing things I would make for holidays and birthdays. My creations would win awards. I’d be featured on Rachel Ray or have my own show on Oprah’s new TV network. I was feeling adventurous and maybe a little overconfident because I decided I was going to make cookie-pops and cake-ball-pops all at the same time. I kind of forgot about the toddler under foot and the three dogs asking to go outside and then asking to come inside and then asking to go outside (repeat as many times as possible). I’m not sure why I thought this would be a successful endeavor except that I like to imagine myself as Super Mom, sort of like Wonder Woman, but with a less charming figure and no bullet proof bracelets.

 

The first batch of cookie-pops overflowed, the second batch over cooked, and there was no third batch because apparently one cake mix only makes 8 cookies even though the directions claim it makes 12. Maybe I could have made 12 if I didn’t overfill the pans, but it seems seriously unlikely. The second batch may have been a success, but I somehow thought 20 minutes was enough time to get my daughter to bed, which probably tells you something about my ability to estimate time. Although, some people do claim that the crystals in this area cause a time warp or a black hole or something. I am guessing that we probably live directly over a very large quantity of crystals and will be sucked into the abyss at any moment. Three rounds of “Milly the Meerkat” (and a slight nod of the head that ended with me saying, “I am only resting my eyes”) later I remembered that I was supposed to be baking cookies. In a rush of panic I ran for the kitchen, yanked open the oven and stared at 4 very brown hockey pucks with sticks protruding from them. I toyed with the idea of frosting them anyway, but decided against it once I started to calculate the dental bills that would likely accumulate. How many of my friends and family would crack a tooth when they bit into the beautifully decorated, but deceptively hard cookies? Of course, in all reality, frosting them probably would have just made them look worse because I have no experience in that department either.

 

The cake-pops were frustrating in their own way too. Each step required a mandatory 2 hour waiting period while the pops cooled in the refrigerator. In the end though, they came out kind of cute. I’m looking forward to making some again. I made them look like Elmo from Sesame St. Well, they sort of look like Elmo if you kind of squint while looking at them and pretend you don’t notice that Elmo’s mouth is suspiciously missing. All in all it was a fun little adventure and the pops made my daughters day so I guess it wasn’t all bad! The only thing I regret is eating all of the mistakes. What kind of person decides to make cookies (covered in pure sugar) when they are right in the middle of trying to lose a few pounds? I don’t think Wonder Woman would ever do that sort of thing. She probably only eats rice cakes and drinks diet soda. I don’t think I will ever be able to squeeze into those bullet proof bracelets.