Tag Archives: Elmo

This Is The Soundtrack Of My Life (Today)

This Is The Soundtrack of My Life

This is the soundtrack of my life today. Jim and Tiny-Small attempt to sing and play the theme to Elmo’s World.

Neither of them know how to play the piano, but their experimenting is pretty humorous at times. Tiny-Small plays much better than I do and she is only two. I think she plays fearlessly and sings fearlessly. I admire her for that.

 

The Potty Chronicles: Elmo Style

My daughter has been talking a lot of poop lately. It’s pretty much one of her favorite topics. We bought her a potty chair, but for some reason she will only sit on it when her Grandma is visiting. I don’t think she wants me to know, that she knows, what it is for. It’s like she is considering the whole toileting thing, but only on a top secret need to know basis. Her stealth investigation into the subject and how it all works makes it a little difficult for us to prod her in the right direction or to offer any guidance.

That’s why I bought the DVD, “Elmo’s Potty Time.” Apparently it used to be anyone over 30 that couldn’t be trusted, but now it’s anyone over three. We have to change with the times or just get old and cranky and complain about how things used to be. I decided to enlist the help of the most trusted 3 year old in the history of Sesame Street: Elmo. My daughter trusts him completely and he never lets her down so why not, right? He is the rock star of potty training and has a resume a mile long on the subject.

Once the DVD was put into the player and “play” was pushed there was all kinds of foul language coming out of the TV. Little kids were openly talking about whizzing, peeing, urinating, making doodoo, going poop and having accidents. My daughter danced along to cult classics like, “Everyone has accidents and that’s ok” and the hit song, “Don’t forget to use toilet paper and wash your hands after.” She was delighted with all this potty mouth talk and insisted on watching it multiple times in a row. It was going fantastically.
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So, I brought her into the bathroom and we both stared at the potty. I asked her if she wanted to try sitting on it? She said, “NO!” and slammed the little pink, plastic lid down. I asked her if she wanted to go peepee in the potty like Elmo and she again said, “NO!” Then she took the little rubber seat out and put it on her head. She did some dancing, some twirling, and some giggling and then she left the bathroom. I put Elmo on the potty and then I gave him a book to read. My daughter came in and squealed with delight. Then she took the book away from Elmo and skipped out the door and down the hallway. That was that.

Maybe we will have better luck tomorrow. This morning she came up to me and said, “Poop.” Then she went poop in her diaper. Maybe if I am smart enough to pay attention I can get her to the potty the next time she has to poop (and tells me), instead of just patting her on the head and looking in the back of her diaper for any evidence that may or may not exist.

I just want to leave you with a few lyrics from the song that I think is titled: “You do it, you use the potty.” The first few lines go like this: “Girls do it, boys do it, big kids all around the world do it. Grown ups do it. They use the potty. One day, you’ll use the potty too.” Let’s hope so.

Wonder Woman And The Cookie-Pop Fiasco

 

It was a rookie mistake, at least that’s what I told myself. I overfilled the cookie pans. The cookies overflowed as they baked becoming one big, sponge-like, yet crusty mess with sticks coming out from four sides. You guessed it, I was trying to make cookie-pops. This fad has probably come and gone for the rest of you because it just caught my eye. I am always fashionably late for anything fashionable or a day late and a dollar short as my father-in-law likes to say. It’s not the end result, but the effort I put into it or is it the journey that is supposed to matter most? Enough with all of these sayings! My point is the end result was a disaster and it makes me feel better to pretend it was all about the journey, but we all know cookie-pops are all about the end result and not at all about the effort part or the journey.

It all started when I went to a Quinceanera last weekend and enjoyed eating cookie-pops. Then, the very next day, I was wandering aimlessly through Walmart where I discovered an entire aisle devoted to cake and cookie pans and supplies. After a few days of debate with myself, I went ahead and bought what I needed to make these delicious cookie treats. I imagined all of the amazing things I would make for holidays and birthdays. My creations would win awards. I’d be featured on Rachel Ray or have my own show on Oprah’s new TV network. I was feeling adventurous and maybe a little overconfident because I decided I was going to make cookie-pops and cake-ball-pops all at the same time. I kind of forgot about the toddler under foot and the three dogs asking to go outside and then asking to come inside and then asking to go outside (repeat as many times as possible). I’m not sure why I thought this would be a successful endeavor except that I like to imagine myself as Super Mom, sort of like Wonder Woman, but with a less charming figure and no bullet proof bracelets.

 

The first batch of cookie-pops overflowed, the second batch over cooked, and there was no third batch because apparently one cake mix only makes 8 cookies even though the directions claim it makes 12. Maybe I could have made 12 if I didn’t overfill the pans, but it seems seriously unlikely. The second batch may have been a success, but I somehow thought 20 minutes was enough time to get my daughter to bed, which probably tells you something about my ability to estimate time. Although, some people do claim that the crystals in this area cause a time warp or a black hole or something. I am guessing that we probably live directly over a very large quantity of crystals and will be sucked into the abyss at any moment. Three rounds of “Milly the Meerkat” (and a slight nod of the head that ended with me saying, “I am only resting my eyes”) later I remembered that I was supposed to be baking cookies. In a rush of panic I ran for the kitchen, yanked open the oven and stared at 4 very brown hockey pucks with sticks protruding from them. I toyed with the idea of frosting them anyway, but decided against it once I started to calculate the dental bills that would likely accumulate. How many of my friends and family would crack a tooth when they bit into the beautifully decorated, but deceptively hard cookies? Of course, in all reality, frosting them probably would have just made them look worse because I have no experience in that department either.

 

The cake-pops were frustrating in their own way too. Each step required a mandatory 2 hour waiting period while the pops cooled in the refrigerator. In the end though, they came out kind of cute. I’m looking forward to making some again. I made them look like Elmo from Sesame St. Well, they sort of look like Elmo if you kind of squint while looking at them and pretend you don’t notice that Elmo’s mouth is suspiciously missing. All in all it was a fun little adventure and the pops made my daughters day so I guess it wasn’t all bad! The only thing I regret is eating all of the mistakes. What kind of person decides to make cookies (covered in pure sugar) when they are right in the middle of trying to lose a few pounds? I don’t think Wonder Woman would ever do that sort of thing. She probably only eats rice cakes and drinks diet soda. I don’t think I will ever be able to squeeze into those bullet proof bracelets.