My Kid Needs A Job In Sales

I’ve been feeling under the weather so my husband decided to get up with our daughter this morning and let me get some extra sleep. I was snoozing away when something woke me up: A small shuffle, odd breathing in my ear, the sense that someone was standing over me.

It Was a Hazy Day 4x6 alcohol ink painting by Lillian Connelly on photo paper.
It Was a Hazy Day 4×6 alcohol ink painting by Lillian Connelly on photo paper.

I opened my eyes to see my daughter smiling inches from my face. “Hi mom!” she smiled, “You forgot this.” She handed me my cell phone. In confusion I looked at it to see if someone had called. She smiled knowingly, took my phone out of my hand and set it on my night stand.

“Mom,” she whispered, “You better get up. Dad made you coffee AND breakfast. It’s sitting out waiting for you.”

I was still half asleep and groggy from the pressure in my ears, the sore throat, and the post nasal drip. I stared at her not speaking. “You better get up, Mom,” she said in a very conspiratorial tone.

I sat up and got my bearings. I shuffled to the bathroom. She was chatting away behind me, “Your breakfast is getting cold. Hurry up. Dad made it. He made coffee. The coffee is extra healthy coffee. It’s just for you. It’s all for you. It’s waiting for you. Dad made it for you. It’s so good. It’s breakfast.”

I mumbled something about that being nice, but still felt confused. I finally turned and asked her, “Where is your dad anyway?”

“He’s somewhere.”


“He’s downstairs. Don’t you want your coffee, Mom?”

As I closed the door to the bathroom I heard her pacing and talking, the way she tells all of her best stories. “Dad made your coffee with love. Your breakfast is waiting for you. I want you to eat it. Are you coming? Dad is waiting. He had to cook the food and make the coffee in your coffee pot. It’s already waiting….”

As I was washing my hands I asked, “What did dad make me for breakfast?”

For the first time since I’d opened my eyes there was a long moment of silence and then she answered, “I don’t know.”

That seemed odd since it was supposed to be sitting out on the table waiting for me. “You don’t know?” I asked.

I opened the door to see my husband staring at me with apologetic eyes, “Sorry she woke you up,” he said.

“I’ve heard a rumor that you have made me coffee and breakfast,” I told him and watched his eyes get big with surprise.

“Well, I…” he started to say but was interrupted by our daughter yelling.

“I was just joking,” she yelled and waved her arms, “It was a joke. I told you a joke, Mom. It’s a joke! I just wanted you to get up, Mom”

I just stared at both of them as Jim shrugged and mouthed the word, “Sorry” then he added, “I will make you coffee right now though….”

I think I was just sold the Brooklyn bridge, you guys. My kid needs a job in sales. Maybe we can put her skills to good use while I crawl back into bed for a little more shut-eye.


6 thoughts on “My Kid Needs A Job In Sales”

  1. Oh my gosh your daughter is way too cute!!! Of course I can say that because I wasn’t the one she woke up!!! So nice to find your blog. Your art work is gorgeous!!! I will be making this a regular stop.

  2. You’ve got a little bit of a prankster on your hands!

    I love the painting! I don’t know if it’s just the rain that’s been coming down steadily here affecting my outlook, but it makes me think of fairies falling to earth.

  3. You are the best Mom in the world. The fact that you didn’t ring her sweet little neck is proof. Hope you feel better soon. And get taken out for coffee and breakfast!

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