When You Feel Like Giving Everyone the Middle Finger

Yesterday, on the way to the post office, my daughter and I passed two guys walking down the street. As we parked our car the two men stopped on the sidewalk in front of us. We had ring-side tickets to their performance as they thrust their middle fingers into the air and waved them at all of the cars passing by on the road. My daughter joyfully exclaimed, “Those guys are idiots!” as she marveled at their behavior. I smiled to myself as I agreed with her. I smiled because I know that, as humans, we really do feel like giving everyone the middle finger sometimes. Most of us don’t do it of course. Most of us have manners and self-control. BUT…most of us do think about doing it every once in a while. Or maybe that’s just me. I’m probably just one of those seemingly quiet, sweet people with a streak of evil running through her core. Or maybe I just like to think about being the kind of person who freely let’s everyone know exactly how she is feeling in any given moment.

Anyway, I was thinking about those two guys today as I contemplated giving my computer the middle finger several times this morning. Maybe my anger should have been directed at the Internet or my lack of knowledge about html code and blogging guts and all of those letters, slashes, and brackets in my “blog template” that look like a foreign language to me. I was frustrated with my limitations as a webmaster (Yes, I am totally laughing as I refer to myself as a master of anything). Maybe I should have just given myself the middle finger. Maybe I still will…as long as nobody is looking.

You may have noticed a few changes around here. I’ve been accepted into the Blog Her publishing network which means I get to have advertising in my sidebars and maybe find a way to make this hobby of mine less expensive. I am excited about that! The only problem is I have to do some magic stuff behind the scenes to make it happen and I’m not very good at blogging magic. There were tears this morning, the gnashing of teeth, and the ever lovely: Pulling out of all the hair. Even after all of that I’m still not convinced my ads are working correctly on those darn mobile devices. Only time will tell.

The Blog Her ads team is amazing and helpful. I hope they get paid a lot of money as they patiently answer all of my questions via email and try to direct me to solutions. Either way, I am sure I will be driving them to drink before long. I’m practically driving myself to drink and now I am writing about it because everyone needs to know how hard I am trying over here (feel free to send chocolate or to give me your middle finger). I need a blog design intervention. This is almost as bad as when I tried to create my own logo. I say almost as bad because it’s not exactly over yet. It might even be worse. I might not find another Joules Dellinger to ride in on her white horse and save me from myself.

On top of that there is this whole problem with my websites speed. It is getting slower and slower. It took over 10 seconds for this page to load. That is like 16 months in dog years. I’m never going to be operating at light speed at this rate. I might not even achieve the speed of sound. I apologize to all of you who sat waiting for 8 seconds while the pictures in my sidebar came to life. I know what I have to fix, but I don’t know how to do it so I have sent out an S.O.S. to my blogging community. I’m looking for a professional to help me sort it all out. If you know anyone who does this sort of thing please send them my way!

I’m crossing my fingers, hoping for a hail Mary, and even doing a blogging rain dance because I am willing to try anything to get this gizmo working correctly. In the meantime, I’m going to take a break and face another BIG problem I am having. Another overwhelming obstacle to tackle:

When you feel like giving everyone the middle finger.
Fear is staring at a blank 36×48 canvas.

Blank Canvas Blues…it still seems more surmountable than blogging.

4 thoughts on “When You Feel Like Giving Everyone the Middle Finger”

    1. Yes, because I barely even know what I am talking about. The best thing you can do for me is eat chocolate with me and encourage me to put on the old pedometer…and maybe take Flat Lillian out for a night on the town. I could use more laughing! Lots of laughing!

  1. I actually have some html background and I still get frustrated when things aren’t working for me. Feel free to email me with any issues you have and I’ll try to help if I can.

    PS, it’s not a white horse… it’s a fruit snacks/broken pretzel filled SUV with off-roading tires. 😉

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