Tiny-Small wants to get married to Underdog. She’s already planning the wedding and says they are going to have ten kids. Which seems entirely possible since one of them is a dog. Tiny-Small has some funny notions about weddings and marriage. For instance, she thinks dancing alone is a binding, marriage contract and that the state of New Mexico recognizes marriage between a human and a cartoon dog. I’m not going to break the news to her that both of her assumptions are false until she’s at least 16.
She does, however, have some concerns about being married to a dog. For instance just this morning she said, “You can’t get in love unless you brush your teeth. Nobody wants to kiss you if you have dog breath. I hope Underdog brushes his teeth like I do.” I’m kind of shocked that she is worrying about kissing and getting in love at the ripe old age of four, but since it’s with a cartoon dog I feel pretty safe about it.
Dog breath is a serious concern. As a child who lives with three dogs, she knows first hand how bad dog breath can be. I am pretty sure she’ll be handing out tooth-brush wedding favors at their reception. Maybe she’ll even schedule a pre-honeymoon teeth cleaning for her canine paramour. I know I would.
The funny thing is I know exactly how Tiny-Small feels. When I was a kid I fell in love with several cartoon characters. The one that comes to mind first is Justin, a rat, from The Secret of Nimh. I would have married him in a heartbeat if I could have. He was so gallant and brave. Like a knight in shining rat armor protecting Mrs. Brisby from all of the mean rats. Remember them? They had been given some toxic potion in an experiment that turned them into highly intelligent, furry beings. Or they were electrocuted or something. It’s all sort of fuzzy. Probably because I only had eyes for Justin. Anyway they were kind of like the rat versions of Spider Man…another character I wanted to marry. Justin seemed like the ideal man, except for the whole being a rat thing. He still does in some ways.
Tiny-Small is in love with Underdog at the age of four and brushing her teeth meticulously in preparation for the day they meet in person, dance, and fly away together. It’s lovely. I am happy for her. As the future mother of the bride I am all a glow.
I’m also glad she is brushing her teeth. Even if it is just to prevent having dog breath. Because we all benefit from that, except for the dentist. He won’t be buying a yacht because of us. Underdog is keeping us out of trouble already!
- There’s no need to fear–
- Underdog is here!
With fresh breath, fluoride, and a side of dental floss.