Tiny-Small wearing a striped dress.

This Time Jim Gets To Do His Best Michael Jackson Impression

Tiny-Small wearing a striped dress.
Wearing what she calls her “Tiger Stripe” dress. Being quiet and a bit lethargic too. I miss my happy, spunky kid.

On the way to the pediatrician’s office yesterday I told Jim that if this doctor asked anyone to grab their crotch it was going to have to be him this time because I was done doing Michael Jackson impressions. Jim said he was willing and able to take one for the team. If you think I am babbling on about crazy nonsense you are partially right, but you might also need to get caught up on my post from the other day before reading this one any further: I Do My Best Michael Jackson Impression For The Doctor.

Caught up? Good!

So, it turns out Tiny-Small had some blood in her urine when it was collected by the first doctor. For some reason or other the first doctor didn’t think the blood warranted having a culture done. The pediatrician told us this just by looking at Tiny-Small’s record on the computer. Since Tiny-Small had all of the symptoms for a urinary tract infection and a low-grade fever that goes up at night, the pediatrician wrote us a prescription for an antibiotic and Tiny-Small is getting better right this very minute. What a relief!

What have I learned from all of this?

1. When a urine sample is taken ask if there is anything unusual about it.

2. If the answer is yes, insist a culture be done.

3. Don’t go to urgent care unless you think it’s life or death and then, just go to the Emergency Room.

4. Get a doctor with a sense of humor.

After explaining our experience in urgent care, our pediatrician not only guessed the name of the urgent care doctor correctly but also said, “Oh, yeah, that doctor is weird.” Then she made jokes about how she was sorry she was going to miss out on Jim’s Michael Jackson impression. I cried a little like a big baby when she said Tiny-Small had an infection, mostly out of relief. Then I laughed a lot because she told more funny jokes and stories. Sometime during our visit she said her standard answer at cocktail parties, when people asked her how many kids she had, was to say, “Two that I know of” which is funny because of course moms know how many kids they have given birth too, but also because she donated some eggs in the past (to help couples with fertility problems) so she really doesn’t know, but cocktail party people don’t know that. I love this kind of humor. When Tiny-Small was born and looked nothing like me and exactly like Jim I told people I was considering having a “maternity test” done to make sure I was actually her mother. Which was funny because I had just given birth to her. Get it? Some people don’t. It became a sort of litmus test for me to determine which people had a sense of humor and which didn’t. Or, at least, which people had MY sense of humor. So, this pediatrician and I are on the same wave length and that is a good place to be when it comes to your child’s doctor.

Me in a fancy dress.
This is my prom queen signature look. It’s also the closest I can come to making the Vulcan sign.

5. When your child is sick, tired, lethargic, and cranky it helps to do stuff that makes them happy. Yesterday, I wore a bright, pink dress with plastic jewels sewn all over it to eat burritos in a gas station parking lot and to go to the pediatrician’s office. Walking around like a prom queen contestant in the middle of a Thursday afternoon is something I am willing to do for love.

6. When you know something is wrong, do not give up until you get it figured out. Small medical things can lead to big medical things.

7. Not all doctors are created equally. If you don’t trust the doctor, you should get a new one.

8. Jim does a better Michael Jackson impression than I do.

9. Tiny-Small is braver than I knew she was.

10. So am I.

Also, it’s important to have good mom friends to remind you that what you are going through is pretty normal because they have all been there before. I don’t mean the Michael Jackson impressions, but the urinary tract infections. So, if (and when) a doctor acts like you have just presented them with a three-headed-alien of a problem, you can know in your heart and mind that the urinary infection is a common occurrence for little girls because almost all of the mothers you have spoken to about it have a story about their daughter having one too. I am lucky to have so many awesome friends. They helped me stay focused and empowered through this silly ordeal. I am also lucky and grateful that I can call my mom for help whenever I need to.

Now I just have to get prepared for Tiny-Small to wake up feeling better and back to her old, mischievous ways! I kind of can’t wait.


14 thoughts on “This Time Jim Gets To Do His Best Michael Jackson Impression”

  1. I love that you got all blinged out for Tiny-Small’s enjoyment. You’re such a good mom! Glad to hear TS is on the road to recovery, and that Jim can do a sweet MJ impression. Also? I’d have cracked up at the maternity test joke. I guess that means we’re kindred spirits!

  2. Gold sparkly stars for you! Taking on doctors can be about as fun as a tea party with the Mad Hatter. Finding one that talks to you like a person not a lab rat is a treasure.

  3. So glad she is getting better!
    I just got over a UTI and it is no fun. I wasn’t getting better on the antibiotic and the culture came back recommending a different one that finally did the trick but I have to say I felt like poo for almost a week.
    Totally agree about asking for a culture but usually it feels like they are rushing you to the point you forget to ask anything. My mom always says to make notes ahead.
    So glad you took her back or rather to your reg doc. Med stuff with our little kids is so scary isn’t it!

  4. Great advice and I LOVE your doc’s sense of humor. Sorry Tiny-Small isn’t feeling well, but damn, you are the woman I want around when I’m sick!

    1. She is better and now a total rascal. When she moved a chair, climbed on it, stole the loaf of bread Jim was about the make french Toast with, and then ran in circles around the living room clutching the bread like a football while Jim chased her begging for the bread back…we knew she had been cured!

  5. Good, fun doctors are worth their weight in gold! So glad you have one. The “Only two that I know of” and “maternity test” are hilarious!
    So glad Tiny-small is feeling better.

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