Monday Memories: Family Dysfunction

Monday Memories

When I got the Monday Memories “Family Dysfunction” prompt from Quirky Chrissy this morning I was thinking this was going to be super easy. I could write a dissertation on family dysfunction. I mean, we nailed that one. We get a gold start for dysfunction. If only that sort of thing was something you could be cheered on for or be carried around on the shoulders of your fellow teammates for accomplishing. I’d probably be famous.

I was going to tell you all about being an adult child of an alcoholic and tell stories about my youth. I was going to share some family secrets and try to find the humor in it all. I started writing, but it wasn’t really funny, it was sad. I was writing things about my dad and my mom that they probably wouldn’t really want the world to know about. I suddenly felt over exposed and tired of dissecting my family and some of the nonsense we went through. It’s starting to get old and boring too. I mean things have changed so much. We have changed so much. My dad isn’t even alive anymore. Plus, alcoholism isn’t really funny for anyone involved.

So, I started looking around. I realized, my family, the one I created, has its own dysfunction. Nothing as serious as alcoholism and all it entails, but we are messy and unorganized. Mondays are the worst day for us because we have been lazy and goofing off all day on Sunday. So, while this isn’t exactly a memory for me, it will be for Tiny-Small when she gets older. Some day, when she has her own blog and gets this prompt, she will be writing about this:

Family Dysfunction (the living room)
Dysfunctional living room.

She will complain about how her mom let the laundry pile up, the toys were all over the place, and the dog ruled the sofa. She will marvel at how her parents could even think in such disarray. She will complain about how we spent all of our time telling jokes and stories to each other while the dishes overflowed from the sink. She will wonder how I managed to get most of it cleaned up by Monday evening. She will vow to run her household better. She will vow to be more efficient.

The Library...a mess.

Except she probably won’t because, well, we’ve all seen her room. She probably got the genetic gene for “who cares if it’s a little messy.” She’ll go on major cleaning rampages before any family or friends come to visit, but the rest of the time she’ll slack a bit.

Messy Monday
Tiny-Small has a messy room too.

Because, in the end, we all end up being more like our parents than we ever plan to be. I guess that’s how we can forgive them for their parenting failures and bad judgement. We aren’t really any better. We’re all human. We all have faults. Not one of us is perfect parents. Sometimes a little perspective can change everything. Even if it’s just a tiny slice of understanding.



15 thoughts on “Monday Memories: Family Dysfunction”

  1. When my kids were young, and we were homeschooling, I thought the house was a mess because we were in it all day. I thought if they were in school or grown up, the house would be cleaner. I was right. The house is cleaner and quieter, and I miss having little ones running around. Enjoy your messy house and your TinySmall daughter.

    1. I try to remember that, but sometimes the mess becomes a bit much. Yesterday, I ended up working in the garden most of the day, so it is still pretty messy…at least we’ll have fresh produce, right?

  2. This is exactly the thought process that went through my brain. embrace your life. I almost wrote about my family with Brian. just the two of us.

    we are messy and cluttered and scatterbrained.

    you are awesome.

  3. Yes I know but some families are more dysfunctional than others. I know because I have been watching “Bates Motel” 😉 Anyway, I was probably born to be “different” anyway. Nobody in my family understood me but that’s the way the cookie crumbles 😉

  4. I am sorry to hear about alcoholism in your family. It is never easy to talk about it, let alone blog about it…
    I don’t know if that can cheer you up but your mess does not seem so messy to me at all! 🙂 Well, I like having everything under control (as the German would say: “Ordnung muss sein!” – I guess Jim knows this saying) but when I am buried with paperwork or just tired because I get tired pretty easily, I just don’t care if my flat gets messy.
    And that sentence “Because, in the end, we all end up being more like our parents than we ever plan to be” or, better to say, the feelings it evokes, they are so painful and yet so comforting at the same time. I could not put it better.
    And hey, do you really believe our kids will grow up to be bloggers?! 😀 I think they will all just wear google-glasses and communicate with pictures – the words are dying! 🙂

    1. I want google glasses. I hope words aren’t dying, but I can totally see how you might make that leap. I have a feeling Tiny-Small will be blogging by the time she can spell words. I mean, she will likely want to give her side of all of my stories, right?

  5. LOVE LOVE LOL LOVE! It will be the opposite in my house… well kind of. I am constantly picking things up and cleaning everything. I think Ollie is going to be messy when he moves out to rebel against his crazy mom. THe therapist will probably encourage it. Loose and easy is best for sure. I plan to be medicated once I am no longer nursing to achieve that!

  6. I wish everyone who continues to blame their parents for all their problems would read this! We’re all a bunch of knuckleheads doing the best we can, and when 45-year old adults still blame mommy (the mother usually gets blamed the most), I’m like GROW UP. Gosh. I think it’s been a rough week….regular Marianne to return shortly.

    1. I like No nonsense Marianne, she’s awesome. Yeah, I think parents and moms get blamed for everything. I think, once you actually become a parent your perspective changes…for us grown up types anyway!

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