I could be your Fairy Godmother, unless you prefer a smaller, more realistic version, then you can have Tiny-Small as your Fairy Godmother. She fits the part better than I do, but I can reach things on the top shelf, so we sort of balance each other out. Anyway, we are just a couple of out of work fairies looking to change the world for the better. Or, at least to make it look better by wearing wings and too many necklaces (Tiny-Small’s signature look). To be honest, she is the one trying to decorate the world, I am just trying to keep it clean(ish).
The other day I folded laundry wearing wings. I also wore wings in the garden. I vacuumed wearing wings. I talked on the phone to important people wearing wings. I pretended to eat plastic waffles wearing wings. I wore wings so much I forget I was wearing wings. I am still grateful the UPS man did not come by on that day. He has already seen me in too many compromising positions as it is. One day he will likely start blackmailing me with the secret, phone pictures he took of me wearing my Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer pajamas at 4 pm, on a Thursday, in July. He is going to get so rich.
Tiny-Small insists on being a butterfly, a moth, or a fairy, every morning when she wakes up. First, she demands to wear a dress. This is all before coffee or breakfast or when my brain turns on. Then, she brings me twenty-five necklaces from her jewelry box that she must wear all at the same time. Then she puts on the bracelets she stole from my jewelry box, and lastly, she puts on 3-5 plastic, princess rings. It’s quite an event. After that, she moves onto her hair where she either attaches several sparkling hair bows or a giant flower clip (or both). Usually, by this point, she turns to me and asks, “Why you not dressed too, Mama?” Then we put on our wings.
Anyway, I am a mother who wears fairy wings. So, not only am I a mom, a housekeeper, a doctor, a grounds keeper, a plumber, a builder, a cook, a chauffeur, a stylist, an electrician, a personal shopper, an artist, a blogger, an accountant, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, and a story-teller, but I am also a mythical creature with slightly too small, sparkling wings. I would have preferred to be a dragon or something cool like a Pegasus, or even a hobbit, but they don’t seem to make those kind of wings and costumes for little girls. At least they don’t sell them at the dollar store. So, instead, I am a fairy. Maybe a Fairy Godmother. I have to say, making people’s wishes come true or meddling in the love affairs of others would be right up my imaginary alley. If I lived in another land, or time, or maybe somewhere over the rainbow I am pretty sure that would be a viable career option for me.
It’s pretty cool to be as awesome as Tiny-Small is, at least for a few hours at a time. How many adults get to wear wings all day? How many actually want to is besides the point. I mean, some people like their high heels, and ties, and fancy cologne, but I’ll take a pair of fairy wings and my pajamas over ever having to actually be (or look like) a miserable old grown up, almost any day of the week. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself these days. I say “almost” because sometimes I like to wear my wings over Capri pants and a T-shirt too. Sometimes you just have to shake things up a bit, amiright?
The only disappointing thing about being part of the fairy folk community is I still have to do laundry and wash dishes, apparently. Can you believe that? I don’t remember reading about that in any of my books on mythical creatures. To be honest, not having to fold underwear, take out the garbage, or scrape food off of plates was my number one reason for getting into the Fairy Godmother business. So, I guess you could say I got fooled. I got tricked by an adorable little imp who sometimes wears fairy wings. She might even be a leprechaun. Or maybe a sprite. All I know is she has a tricky, devilish streak only a two-year old can truly get away with.
So, if you see a slightly disgruntled Fairy Godmother roaming around with an overly ecstatic, tiny, Fairy Godmother-child, you’ll know it’s me and Tiny-Small out trying to mess up the love lives of some other animated characters who don’t really exist. Wow, I ran out of breath just trying to read that line out loud. Good thing I have fairy powers to override any grammatical errors I may encounter. Anyway, we just like being silly and awesome because we refuse to grow up, ever, obviously.
If you need a Fairy Godmother leave a comment and we’ll get back to you somewhere between now and never-ever land, that is if we aren’t too busy folding laundry and washing dishes. Which, we totally will be. I mean, have you seen this place? The people who live here are total slobs, seriously.