To Dye Or Not To Dye








I have been debating with myself about letting my hair go the way of the gray or white or silver or whatever color it would be if I just stopped dyeing it. To dye or not to dye seems to be the thing I cannot make a decision about these days. The question floats around in my mind behind all of the more pressing and important decisions I am supposed to be making right now. It nags at me day and night.


It shouldn’t be that big of a deal right? I keep wondering why I turn it into such a big deal. When will I stop worrying about what to do with my hair? Once the decision to dye or not to dye is made I’ll be right back to the similarly elusive question: To cut or not to cut?

The thing is, in my mind I will look like this when I let my hair grow out naturally:

This photo originally came from as far as I can tell.



















In reality though I will probably look more like this…

Photo attributed to:















I mean, sure, I am exaggerating a little here, but this is how I imagine people will see me with my gray hair. People will stop and ask Tiny-Small if she likes going to the park with her Grandma and I will have to interrupt and clarify that I am in fact her mother. That could be a little awkward. I feel older than everyone else at the park as it is. Probably because I am older than everyone else at the park. This is what happens when you wait until your mid thirties to even think about having children. You become the oldest mother in town.

Anyway, I still don’t really know what I am going to do about my hair. The idea of throwing out the dye sounds so liberating. My hair will be healthier and with that $8.00 I will save each month I could buy myself a Starbucks coffee or maybe go to a movie, right? What do you think? Do you dye your hair? Have you ever fantasized about letting it all go gray? What stops you from taking the plunge?



30 thoughts on “To Dye Or Not To Dye”

  1. Your hair looks thick and gorgeous, but grey will undoubtedly make people think you are older than you now appear. It sounds like you are not quite ready for that – maybe wait until Tiny Small is a bit older?

    1. I probably will wait. I can’t seem to make an actual decision so I will probably just continue along until I can. Thank you!

  2. I totally hate the upkeep and cost of highlighting or dyeing my hair, but I just can’t stop doing it yet. For some reason, my hair is the one part of my appearance that I feel the most control over. My weight fluctuates, my wardrobe sucks, my face breaks out, but if I’m loving my hair, the rest of it feels a little easier to deal with 😉 I hope you’re happy with whichever hair decision you decide to make!

    1. I hear you on wanting to control at least one aspect of your appearance. A good hair day can make you feel like a million bucks.

  3. I have never dyed my hair. Now little by little the grey is showing through but I’m not even tempted (yet). I have memories of aunts dyeing their hair and it looked awful, roots showing within a week and a colour that just didn’t suit them. They look way better now without the dye.

    1. This is a problem for me as well. I can’t find a color that looks somewhat natural. I don’t want to pay to go to a salon every three weeks to have it done professionally either. The whiter my hair gets the more trouble I have with roots showing too.

  4. I hate the dying process but I just cannot let it go grey just yet! Not until at least 45-ish. Then when I get to 45 i will probably push it back to 50. Sigh.

    1. I know what you mean. I always think by the time I am ___ age I won’t care anymore, but then when I reach that age I care even more than I did previously.

  5. If I didn’t dye my hair, I’d be mostly grey. Yet my mom (who went white in her 30s) stopped dying her hair around 45. Everyone did assume she was my Grandma and I was a little embarrassed. I was a shallow, stupid, silly little girl. But there was also a part of me that wished she WANTED to look sexy and fabulous. It simply wasn’t my low-maintenance mom’s style.

    1. It’s amazing how much a mother’s hair color affects all of the people in her life. Mothers have to consider other people even when they choose their hair color. I’ve thought a lot about what my daughter and my husband will think if I am walking around with white hair. I’ll probably continue to dye it just because growing it out is going to be a real challenge.

  6. I have been highlighting my hair for years! Saw my first gray in my 20’s. I tried dying it but didn’t like how the gray/white would show through at the roots. A hairdresser I had gone to years ago suggested highlighting it just enough to blend in the gray/white and thats what I have been doing ever since. I am now almost 50 and thinking about just letting it go. I don’t want to look “old” but I’m tired of messing with it. Lillian, you know how the “Connelly” side is when it comes hair graying or going white early, you can’t avoid it, but you can cover some of it.

    1. Highlights might be a good way to go. Then if I don’t get the color just right it can blend in with the other colors…haha! Yes, the Connelly curse.

  7. I’m actually waiting for my hair to turn white since I was a little girl. I love how women look with a full head of white hair. Something magical about it, like Galadriel in Lord of the Rings or many of the fae folk. In my opinion you’re lucky it’s turning. I have a few precious strands here and there, but that’s it. I hope one day…

  8. I have a few greys coming out now and I use henna to dye them naturally. Actually, henna is a natural conditioner as well, so it’s good for your hair. Just throwing it out as an option!

  9. I stopped dying my hair at 33 in anticipation of hiding out in Africa for the rest of my life. But then we ended up back here : years later. I have yet to dye it and the grays are coming out! But I am excited about having fabulous gray moments.

    1. See. Why can we do it when we think we are going to hide out in Africa? There is so much pressure in the U.S. to look a certain way. I am sure you will have fabulous gray moments. You are fabulous in all ways possible. Someday I will have your attitude…I hope!

  10. Dye it pink and blue and red like me!

    I don’t mind looking my age or even a few years older, but I’m only 34, and I have enough gray hair that sticks STRAIGHT UP to look like a 55-year-old electrocution victim. But dye it boring colors also made me feel older hence the colors that show my true colors.

    1. I keep thinking about that. My husband is convinced I will look like Lady Gaga and he has some strange dislike of Lady Gaga. It’s not like I’d be wearing a meat dress so I don’t know why he is so worried about a Lady Gaga look-a-like wife. He has strange phobias (he also gets upset about Justin Bieber). Maybe one day I will surprise him. The gray hair always seems to sticks straight up. It feels some need to announce that it does in fact exist. I have the same problem.

  11. My daughter sucked everything out of me when I was pregnant with her – even my hair color (and I had bad hair to start with!). To combat the grow out hideous (as my real color is very dark brown) I add highlights. It helps blend everything so I am not channeling my inner Pepe Le Pew.

    1. When I was young my mom had a gray stripe on the side. Everyone thought she looked cool and thought she did it on purpose. I guess a few people can pull off the Pepe Le Pew look. It’s a fashion statement for sure!

  12. I am not ready to go gray although as I get older I’m leaving it longer and longer. I’m sure one day I will just let it go.

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