Tiny-Small Goes To McDonalds For The First Time

I took Tiny-Small to McDonalds. She is practically two and a half years old and this is her first time ever going. I know, it’s like we aren’t really American. The thing is, before Tiny-Small was born, her dad read that kids can get addicted to fast food even if they only eat it once before they turn three. I don’t know why three is the magic age. All I know is I swore that she would never eat McDonalds food and that I would protect that promise with my life.

Moments after arriving at McDonalds for the first time ever.

But, then it started raining and raining and then…more raining. Tiny-Small wanted to go to the “Pawk” and “Pay with kids.” She was sad and she cried. I cried. Ronald McDonald cried.

Did I say rain? I meant a flood…

McDonald’s is the only place in town with an indoor playground. I broke my promise.

I took her to McDonalds.

She played with kids. She ate french fries. She even had a chicken nugget. It was a disaster.

She contemplated the chicken nugget: What was it? Where did it come from?

She loved it!

I listened to 7 screaming kids for an hour and a half as they chased each other around the playscape. Tiny-Small licked things that should never be licked. A little girl danced on a pole like a pole dancer. Tiny-Small hugged outraged little boys and tried to eat things off of the floor. It was almost like being home, but better. I think the floors were probably cleaner. Also, the people were real and not just on TV.

She was supposed to be 4 to play on the playscape. She never made it past the first step. It was like never getting past the first level of a Super Mario’s game.

When we got home she wore her happy meal on her head and pretended she was a robot. It’s like the fun never ends. Her dad was not exactly happy. He wanted to punch Ronald McDonald in the nose and stab the rain with a knife.

If she gets addicted to fast food it will be all my fault because I didn’t wait until she was three to expose her to the most disgusting food on earth. I took our daughter to eat food that doesn’t ever rot – you’ve seen the five-year old hamburger pictures on Facebook, right?

In my defense the whole outing was a complete blur…it all happened so fast.

I did it because I couldn’t take another rainy day trapped inside with a lonely toddler who just wanted to “Pay with kids.” I’m guilty. I just hope the punishment isn’t too severe.

34 thoughts on “Tiny-Small Goes To McDonalds For The First Time”

  1. I’ve been eating it since I was a wee-one I think?…(Mom blames my dad’s dad)I wouldn’t say that I’m addicted to McDonald’s…mostly I hate McD’s…except for breakfast. I have a thing for hashbrowns. But I don’t really care where they come from. As long as they’re crispy delicious golden hashbrowns. (Oh yeah–and that whole Monopoly thing–but let’s not go there.) Tiny-Small will be fine 🙂

    Shoot. Now I want hashbrowns.

    1. Now I want hashbrowns too. I went when I was a kid too. I’m thinking maybe the food was more real back then? I don’t know. I’m not a big fan as an adult. The funniest part about this post is I wrote it moments before I read your post about the Monopoly game. It’s like we have some kind of psychic connection (at least when it comes to McDonalds). All Tiny-Small wanted to do was run around with kids. She didn’t seem to care much about the food anyway!

      1. I love it when posts magically intertwine! (Same thing sort of happened with Katie and I…Yesterday I posted I had never read (though I graded a paper on) Brave New World…and she posted about Brave New World!

        1. I love that too. It always makes me feel like I must be in the right place. Look at you grading papers on something you have never read. I can see why you skipped classes. It must have been hard to sit there. Some of those classes are so boring for smart people.

  2. I love this!! I first started reading and thought, “no! Not crack land!” By the end I totally agreed with your stellar mommy decision. Thank you for reminding me that crack land has the only indoor playground in my area too. Very good to know in the dead of winter.

    1. It was a moment of desperation. That’s all I can say. The good thing she is didn’t eat much and no soda. She had no interest in the toy either. I still feel guilty about it.

    1. It really isn’t a big deal, we just have to turn everything into a big deal around here. She was never supposed to eat candy either! She was never going to hear people swearing. I’m pretty sure my husband has taught her most of the bad words already. Sometimes I think parenthood is all about making decisions so the world can laugh at you later when you completely reverse your decision. I felt bad about breaking my promise too, but my husbands rarely spends more than 2 hours solo with Tiny-Small. He doesn’t know what it is like after two days of rain. It was an act of desperation. That little girl needed to run and see people. She was tired of just me!

      1. Oh, you’re those kinds of parents! hahahaha The ones who thought you’d be perfect until you had an actual child in the house. Now I get it. Sorry you’ve got the flu. Those playplaces are actual germ pits.

        1. We are “those” kind of parents! We are “those” in every sense of the word. We have first child syndrome. Haha!

  3. She’ll be fine! Tell your husband that she’s so advanced for her age, she’s mentally 3 anyway. Also mention she inherited her superior intellect from him (little white lies). Really he’s just jealous. He totally wants fries now.

    1. You should write a book on husband manipulation…haha! I am sure that would work too. Fries are the best part of any fast food establishment (in my opinion).

  4. We all ate McD’s and we all grew up more or less okay. Tiny-Small will be fine, especially since you mostly went to play there and not for the food. Obviously it shouldn’t be her main meal area (the stories of families in the city would make you cry for real), but you haven’t totally ruined her life.


    1. This day will just get tossed onto the pile of things I swore I’d never do with my child, but then did do! I know kids who have Mcdonalds for at least one meal a day. It does make me cry.

    1. Now that the menu has the calories listed I am even more horrified. A double cheeseburger is at least 1/3 of my rec. daily caloric intake. In my twenties I ate big macs. I can’t believe I managed to stay thin.

  5. Its tought when there isn’t a lot of choices of places to take your children. We try to avoid fast food as much as possible. I think you enjoy it more when your kids but get sick of it as adults. I remember thinking when I grow up I will eat McDonalds and Pizza every day…. yuck!! Give me a home cooked meal any day!

    1. When I was a kid we only went out to eat for special occasions so it was a rare treat. We were pretty poor! I thought I would eat ice cream for dinner and stay up all night when I was a kid. Boy, perspective changes everything!

  6. Ha! I can’t believe she has only been to McDonald’s once! We don’t go very often since we have more people than toilets in our house! I am sure since she didn’t eat much she won’t be addicted, I never heard that before today!

    1. We don’t eat out much either. It’s so expensive! Even going to fast food restaurants is expensive, especially when there are many mouths to feed.

  7. How do you say no to someone so sweet? She just wanted to pay at a pawk. Fast food on a rare occasion never lead to serial killers. Jersey Shore actors maybe…but never murderers. 😉

    1. Let’s hope there aren’t any reality shows in our future, although blogging is probably about as close as we can get without being on TV! I am terrible at saying no. she is too cute!

  8. She is so gonna be OK! You should go back and eat a burger too! My kids lived on that crap for about 6 months when we were selling / looking / buying / moving and they hate it now. They are all grown and normally defiant three-headed and four-armed children. They call it “McCancer’s” and cry if we have to eat there on a road trip. They would rather have a bag of FunYuns and a Huggs chemical drink than eat there.

    She’s too kewt. You’re a good mom. 🙂

    1. I never thought about McDonalds as the perfect food sourse of the apocalypse. I’m surprised they haven’t been making commercials about that yet. Maybe I should have learned to operate a fry-o-lator (spelling?) in my teen years.

  9. Oh, she’ll be just fine! The Princess had Mcdonalds when she was two and she didn’t get addicted. It is her favorite in the whole world, but unfortunately she has some tummy sensitivities that prevent her from enjoying it anymore. As long as you limit it, I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s the perfect playdate spot!

    1. I know! When I was little they had Hamburglers head and you could sort of squish your body in a circle through it and like a statue of Grimace. They are way more fun now. At the top there was a train and a helicopter. There was a slide too. Amazing!

  10. I was “that” parent too…my daughter would have fast food maybe once every 3 months, but no fries, no soda, and sometimes….if I thought the toy was inappropriate – I would take that away too (ie makeup). Now my daughter is 9 and I have 4 other children, and we are VERY busy, AND Tuesdays and Thursday’s Happy Meals are 1.99…SO I give in sometimes – last night actually. My kids eat a great breakfast, lunch and dinner on a regular basis, take vitamins, and play sports…it really is OK to give in to convenience sometimes, it wont hurt…one of them has developed a 3rd eye, but that just builds character right? 😉

    1. Tiny-Small totally has a third eye forming. Last night we had frozen pizza for dinner and yesterday for lunch? Frozen burritos. We try to eat healthy, but sometimes there is no time or no energy. Besides, everyone needs a little character building, right?

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