There we were, kicking and punching and sweating to the Jillian Michaels work out video (Extreme Shed & Shred) when Tiny-Small started screaming from the corner of the living room she was hiding in. Apparently, observing her parents do actual exercise
terrified her. I’m not surprised at all that she was frightened or maybe even a little disgusted. Jim was on the ground like a human tee pee trying to contort his body into some kind of yoga pose and I was jumping up and down in place because I have carpal tunnel syndrome and my wrists will not endure the pressure of holding up my entire body mass.
Tiny-Small had just missed getting stepped on, knocked over, and kicked in the chest. This exercising with a toddler idea was not going at all as planned. We were only 15 minutes into the video and we both looked like we were on the verge of having heart attacks or at the very least of punching each other in the head. My brain was already searching for a way to get out of finishing the video and apparently so was Jim’s.
When Tiny-Small came out of her corner and ran in front of us once more (taking her very life into her tiny little hands), we both caught a whiff of something unsavory. That kid had a poopy diaper. We both jumped to attention and raced to her side. “I’ll change her diaper,” I said sweetly. Then Jim responded, “Oh no, let me.” It was a sort of tug-of-war between two sweaty adults, with a stinky diapered toddler posing as the rope.
Jim won because he knows I will never pass up the chance to get out of changing a poopy diaper much like he knows I will never pass up the chance of letting someone else wash the dishes for me. So he ran off with our cranky toddler in his arms and that’s when I realized that 1 out 1 fathers prefers changing a diaper to completing a workout video with Jillian Michaels. She is that hardcore and that bad ass(ed). She should totally put my statistical analysis on the cover of her next workout video just to weed out all of the cry babies. Also, that would make an excellent coded message for all the mothers who want to get out of doing diaper duty for an hour. Jillian Michaels can say, “My video makes dads want to change diapers.” I can’t imagine a better selling point for mothers across America. I know it makes me want to pop her DVD in a little more often than twice a year (my usual).
Want to hear more about my work out video experiences? Read about Carmen Electra here.