Someone Wants To Call The Pacifier Police On Me

Someone wants to call the Pacifier Police on me, but I won’t say who. Mostly, because I am too polite to be so rude. Still, I want to shout, “Let it be, Babe. Let it be!” My 26 month old still has a pacifier. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not hurting anybody. The doctor said it’s fine. The dentist said it’s fine. The pop psychologists all say it is fine. I say it is fine. Her dad says it is fine. Everyone is fine here, especially my daughter.

Should I be freaking out because she hasn’t given up her pacifier yet? Nope. I’ll tell you why. My daughter uses her binky as a tool. It helps her regulate her emotions. It’s something she uses to calm and sooth her soul during anxiety ridden moments or when she is in pain. It’s her stress reliever. I’m not going to pry it from her little hands (or her little mouth) and leave her hanging out there in the big, wide world with nothing to replace it. That would be cruel.


Will she have the pacifier when she is 5? 6? 21? I doubt it. She gave up her bottle at 12 months. I have confidence in her. I see her beginning to transfer some of the security she gets from her binky to her blanket. Eventually she is going to give up her binky and carry that blanket around for a while instead. Then, someday, she will exchange the blanket for something else too. We all do.

Even as adults we use tools to help us regulate our emotionality. We use tools to give us comfort and confidence. We use tools to relieve stress. I take hot baths, dress up fancy (like I’m putting on my armor), and chew gum anytime I have to take a test. I drink hot tea, listen to classical music, practice relaxation techniques, text my friends for support, and eat chocolate. All of these things help me maintain a sense of balance within myself. These are things Tiny-Small will learn to do too. She will learn to regulate her emotions in her own way. I refuse to force her to do things she is not developmentally ready to do simply because a few people want to judge my parenting skills based on Tiny-Smalls pacifired mouth. This isn’t about me or my ego. This is about Tiny-Small being given the chance to grow into herself in a supportive environment. I want her to feel safe, supported and loved. I’m not going to bully my child into growing up any faster than she has to.

We all have strategies we use on a daily basis to help maintain a state of equilibrium inside of us. Tiny-Small does too. She’s a whole person and deserves respect, even from her parents. We respect her right to grow up at her own pace. She’s still little. She still uses her pacifier. It’s not causing any health, speech, or dental problems. So, to all of those back-seat parents out there, back off a bit because we got this! Also, if you are this concerned about something so trivial and that has absolutely nothing to do with you, it might be a good time to really assess what is going on in your own life. What is it that you are avoiding?

*Pacifired is a made up word. You can use it too, but only if you pay me 5 cents every time you write it or say it. – Thank you, Mom Management.

16 thoughts on “Someone Wants To Call The Pacifier Police On Me”

  1. I think people just need to butt out of other people's business. Unless you are beating, or dragging by the hair or calling them names, or breastfeeding at 16, nobody has a right to judge how another person parents!

    1. I can't figure out why people get so upset about what other people are doing. People take things so personally. It baffles me.I guess that's why it seems to be a running theme here!

      1. Of course you know why people get upset at what other people are doing. Because small and insignificant people get to feel superior telling others how to behave as if that made them better.
        That’s been going on for centuries and centuries and centuries.

  2. I agree with Judy! No problems with pacificers unless your daughter's name is Suri and she's six. Fine. I'm trying to let that one go, too. Whatever works!

  3. I don't get the concern over pacifiers. I wish my kids had gotten attached to theirs. We all think we know best and want other people to believe it, too. I know that I can be pushy about things I believe. I think the approach that works best for me is when someone just tells me it is a good idea and then just does what they want. I have tried that as a response to unwanted advice and seems to work pretty well.

    1. I am always polite when given advice. I think it's fine. I just get tired when someone harps on me about it over and over and over again. Or tries to belittle my child. Then I have a problem with it! Most people are nice and are just trying to help and often give very good advice so I am thankful for ideas and those people. I just don't want to be bullied.

  4. Well said Judy! Kids have their vices just like adults. My oldest was a thumb sucker and we got a lot of grief from family and friends. One doctor told us to tape her thumb down to her palm!(which we never did) We even had a pre-k teacher that made her sit on her hands! People seriously need to mind their own business and stop trying to parent everyone.

  5. I agree with you 100%! I've never seen a kid go to school with a paci. I hate that people are judging you and your decisions as a parent. My daughter gave up her bony before her 2nd bday…. We pushed her into giving it up. I felt pressure from my mother, of all people. Now every once and awhile she still asks for it. Anyway, if you are happy with your parenting decisions than that is all you should care about!

    1. It's hard to be a parent. There is pressure form so many people and sometimes it is hard not to doubt yourself. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut! I think calling it a “bony” is so cute. I've never heard that one before.

  6. Maybe the person giving you advice needs a pacifier shoved in their mouth. 🙂

    It could be a thumb, which my daughter did do until 10. A thumb is harder…. you can't throw it away and say that the binky fairy took it.

    1. You are so funny! My mom always tells me a binky is better than a thumb because you can't ever get rid of a thumb. So true. The thing is, a thumb is also better than a binky because you can never lose it!

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