Those giant sunglasses everyone has been wearing, the ones that give you beetle eyes? Those bad boys are going out of style. How do I know this you ask? I’ll give you two important and amazing points that prove my theory.
1. They are all on sale or marked down.
2. I bought a pair.
|I realize this is the stuff nightmares are made of. Hope you can still sleep tonight.|
Yep, I bought a pair which means they have been around long enough for me to finally think they might not be so bad (and that means the end is near). It won’t be long before the giant sunglasses craze goes the way of the Dirty Dancing jeans and the jams of yesteryear. Those sunglasses will pile up on some fashion farm where unwanted clothing styles and forgotten accessories are laid to rest.
It’s kind of hard for me to admit I actually bought a pair of beetle mania sunglasses because for a long time now I have been complaining about how much I dislike them and openly exclaiming that I thought they were ugly. They have always reminded me of the glasses my friends grandmothers wore, back in 1992. I mean, in my early twenties the Lennon glasses were kind of all the rage. So, you can see how I might find these retro mammoths a bit unsettling and maybe even slightly offensive.
Anyway, I bought them all because of vanity. Not present vanity, but future vanity. I mean, I’m getting wrinkles around my eyes and I don’t like them.
My mom said those big sun glasses protect half your face from the sun. She’s right! I’m thinking that if I wear them, maybe half my face will stop getting wrinkly…at least as fast as the other half. The other alternative is to wear a reflective ski mask at all times, but that won’t go over well when I go to the bank, the grocery store, or even for a walk down my own driveway. Nobody trusts a gal out for a stroll in a ski mask, but slap on some bug-eyed, crystal decorated sunglasses and I might almost pass as hot (nobody can see my wrinkles at least).