10 Things I Don’t Like About Being A Stay At Home Mom

Do you LOVE being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)? All the time? Every waking moment of your life? If so, this blog post might not be your cup of tea. You might want to tune in at a later date when I list all of the things I love about being a SAHM.  This is a list of things I don’t like about being a Stay At Home Mom or parent. I’m not saying I don’t want to be a SAHM I am just saying there are parts of this job that are annoying, not fun, or down right boring. Trust me, if I had a job outside of the home I’d just have a different (probably longer) list of complaints because I can’t really help myself from complaining about something…anything…at least, some of the time.

1. When I go to a social gathering people always ask me one of two questions: A. When are you going back to work? or B. Are you ever going back to work? Seriously? I paint, I blog, I garden…I make funny political jokes about myself. I can talk about all sorts of things. I’m interesting. I don’t ask you when you are going to quit your job, or when you are going to get a better, different job. If I did, you would think I was rude, right? Because it is rude. Also, don’t be a repeat offender. Asking me question A or B more than once a month is kind of annoying and a little boring. Don’t you have anything else to talk about?

2. Cleaning. I clean for hours each day and have nothing to show for it. I don’t even have a clean house. It never ends, or gets better, or goes away. It’s tedious and boring and sweaty.

Jim does help with the cleaning so, ya know, whatever.

3. I’m always the one stuck home waiting for a delivery, a repair person, or someone to show up who never shows up on time. Plumbers, electricians, fence installers, UPS, FED EX, appliance delivery…they say they are coming, but what they really mean is they might come by tomorrow, or next week, or next month and could I please keep the dogs locked inside until then and be home just in case they arrive sometimes between now and some imaginary, future date?

4. I’m responsible for keeping the inside of the house (see #2) looking nice and the outside of the house looking nice. That means the yard. I like to garden, but weeding, moving boulders, filling in holes dug by dogs, and painting decks? All that stuff is incredibly hard to do with a toddler who always wants to help and by help I mean: pulling the good plants up along with the weeds, throwing her body in front of moving boulders, re digging once filled holes, and rolling around in the paint I am using on the deck. Not to mention, toddlers walk really, really slowly sometimes. It takes me 18 minutes to take the trash down to the trash can with my toddler following after me. If I am by myself it takes 2 minutes tops. Then people wonder how I managed to accomplish so little during the day and ask me when I am going to get a real job (see #1).

These grew magically and then I took credit for them, of course!

5. I don’t get to watch what I want to on TV anymore. During the day it’s Elmo, or some other kids show or cartoon. By night, my husband controls the remote. This isn’t that bad since I’m not a big TV watcher anyway, but have you ever tried watching Glee with a husband who has never seen the show before? It’s kind of hard to take it seriously when he keeps giggling at the the characters and the hokey musical numbers. Watching that show with fresh eyes made me question my own taste and then I realized nobody will ever ask me about it around the water cooler anyway so what do I care?

6. I don’t get to wear nice clothes. Oh, I can wear them, but if I do, they won’t be nice for long. Yesterday I got dressed up with perfume and everything. Tiny-Small ran past me with a chocolate popsicle and dragged it right along my pants. I also don’t get to wear cute shoes anymore. I have to be able to run. At. All. Times. So, now I have a cute shoe museum where shoes sit on shelves collecting dust while my feet outgrow them slowly. It’s where I go to cry.

Cute shoes versus shoes I actually wear. This is not a fashion blog, obviously.

7. I’m in charge of clean underwear, clean socks, and the availability of fresh diapers. I am also in charge of making sure we are all dressed for the day. When Jim helps get Tiny-Small dressed it’s more work than if I do it myself. He usually asks, “Where are her shirts?” then “Where are her pants?” Seriously, I labeled her drawers for a reason and still her clothes cannot be found!

How could I make this any clearer?

8. There is rarely any silence. If there isn’t screaming there is barking. If there isn’t barking there is talking. If there isn’t talking, phones are ringing, cars are honking, and doors are knocking. It’s a loud, loud world at home during the day.

“The Scream” …this one is for Molly.

9. Someone always eats my food. For the past two years I have shared my meals with someone or other. Tiny-Small eats my yogurt, Jim steals my grapes or a loud noise pulls me into the other room and the dog gets onto the table and eats my sandwich. I miss food…good food. I miss having an entire plate of food all to myself. I miss lunch dates with grown ups.

Food stealer, barker extraordinaire.

10. I’m on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with very little pay and very little sleep. There are no places to hide and no places to escape. There is usually an emergency of some kind or another.

Tiny-Small, when paint attacks.

These are the things I don’t like about being a SAHM or parent. Do you have anything you would like to share or add?

16 thoughts on “10 Things I Don’t Like About Being A Stay At Home Mom”

  1. I totally agree with #1!! So annoying when people ask me that. I used to work 60 hours a week and I'm home now and still work longer hours. I also feel like I'm the Julie McCoy for my my daughter. I'm having to plan the daily activities and sometimes feel like a cruise director. I must say I don't miss getting dressed in a suit everyday and my shopping budget decreased …but it would be nice to sometimes get dressed nice.

    1. I agree with the whole wearing a suit thing. I don't want to be doing that either. In fact if I did write a list about what I loved about being a SAHM I'd probably say not having to get dressed up! I'm complicated sometimes, but I do miss being able to wear stain free clothing.

      #1 is so annoying because it implies you aren't doing enough and meanwhile you can barely keep up with what you are doing!

  2. I'm new to this world with my 3yo and 4 month old. I totally get all 10. And feel the same way. I would add on to number 9 that I never get to sit through an entire meal. I have to get up at least 5 times- refill milk, more grapes, napkin, pick something off the floor, baby cries, etc. ugh!

    1. Oh yeah, sitting is never an option. I've eaten entire meals standing up. I've also had to reheat my food several times during a meal, or had to give my daughter a bath before I was finished eating!

  3. This is all so relatable. I think I gave up on the cleaning a while ago. In fact I look at pictures from when the twins were little babies and I say “Look how clean my house was!!!”

    And who are these people who question what you do all day? They should understand!

    1. I can never say my house is clean anymore. I just say it is cleaner…

      It's usually people who don't have kids yet. Sometimes it's people with grown up children. I think they must have forgotten what it was like.

  4. Being a stay-at-home mom is like building the pyramids. We toil away and by the time our masterpieces are full and complete, we're probably dead.

    xoxo Debbie Downer

  5. OH MY GOSH, THIS SPEAKS MY MIND EXACTLY. My partner said to me the other day, “What do you actually do when you're at home because I feel like you do nothing.” I was like “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” You are absolutely right that getting anything done with a toddler feels impossible at times and makes your tasks move super slowly. And the cleaning never ends because the mess-making never ends. Right now, my son is supposedly eating a watermelon, except he's spitting the chewed-up pieces all over the floor that I just mopped. It makes me want to rip my hair out. I'm so glad you wrote this post. It makes me feel a little less alone in the world about the things I hate about being a SAHM even if there are things I love about it too. Keep on keeping on.

    1. Washing the floor is a lost cause. It's like announcing, “Please Come Spill Stuff!” Housework is such a thankless job. People think little fairies do it or something. My husband hinted around about me not doing much at home a few times until he was home alone for about 5 hours with my daughter. After that he was much more appreciative. He just didn't understand because he'd never had to do it!

  6. Agree with your list! I hate the fact that despite running around all day long, it feels like I never get anything done. But I have been learning to reset, or lower, my expectations so I'm not so frustrated by this. 🙂

    1. You are so right about expectations! If you don't lower your expectations you will lead a life of misery. Occasionally, I still long for the days when I actually finished what I started, but most of the time I am way too busy to worry about it too much.

  7. The cleaning is my biggest pet peeve. As soon as you mom they spill the stickiest substance all over the floor and it's only when you're about to leave and running late. The JOYS of motherhood. I tell people that I quit my job to stay home and they look at me like I should be medicated

    1. Haha! Sometimes I'd like to be medicated. I think that is why there were so many women in the 1950's and 1960's with alcohol problems. It can be really difficult when you don't have a good support system in place. I sometimes wonder if my house would stay cleaner if I was at work and my daughter was in daycare during the day. Most of my working out of the home friends tell me they usually spend the entire weekend cleaning. I guess they just have to do it in a more concentrated time frame. I don't which way would be better!

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