I haven’t written in a while. I think I have Spring fever, writer’s block or I-just-don’t-want-to-do-it-itus. I’ve started three different blog posts (one is a review of the Toxic People seminar I attended), but just can’t seem to finish them. I stare at the computer screen and my eyes wander towards the window, out into the yard and to the garden. I just can’t bear to sit in a chair, inside, and write about my mundane life. It seems a bit mundane because outside seems spectacular with all of the warm weather, blue sky, billowing, white clouds, and humming birds to admire. Plus, nothing all that funny, frustrating, or interesting has happened in the last week.
|Beets (With A Side Of Weeds) In The Garden|
Well, that’s probably not entirely true, but I don’t seem to care enough to actually sit here and write about it. I’ve had a couple of emails inquiring about my health and if, in fact, I was actually still alive. I suppose my silence is a bit uncomfortable since I am usually droning on and on about something. It’s unusual for me to have so very little to say. I am usually complaining about something, making fun of myself, or putting a magnifying glass to the circumstances of my life, even as mundane as those circumstances often are on most days.
I am writing this to prove that I am still alive, I haven’t abandoned the blog, and that I did survive the toxic people seminar. I think the seminar impacted me in a positive yet negative way. I am trying to take better care of my self. This, according to the instructor, is the best defense for encountering toxic people ( I have oh so very many in my life) and for not developing into a toxic person oneself. This means going to bed on time, eating actual meals, living in the moment, and doing things that put me into the “zone” which shuts off my worrying brain for a while (the best remedy for worry -for me- is deep, intense concentration). These are all positive things, but the one negative is I am not staying up half the night to write the blog, anticipating what I want to write for the blog or snapping photographs for the blog. My new found self-care approach to life has not exactly been great for the blog. I am too busy preparing healthy meals, getting to bed at a reasonable time, and focusing on what is actually in front of me instead of planning what I want to write about in the future. It’s hard to be a blogger while living in the moment (at least for me). In short, I have come down with a case of debilitating happiness and job-threatening contentment. I mean, if I actually got paid to write this blog, I’d probably have to go on disability just to make ends meet, or something.
|What Life Usually Feels Like|
|What Life Has Felt Like Lately|
I am sure this will wear off as soon as I go back to being a cranky, sleep deprived mom, it starts raining again, or I start skipping breakfast on a regular basis. Nothing fuels my writing quite like irritation and too much caffeine. I am quite certain my new good habits will wear themselves out soon enough, just like house guests. I mean, who can keep up with the pace a healthy lifestyle requires? I know one day of chocolate binging and facebook can be a slippery slope that lands me back in the up all night, eating junk food, complaining about my life (in a very public way) phase. I am just postponing the inevitable for as long as possible. I am enjoying the break extra sleep, real food, and outdoors time can bring.
Also, there aren’t too many dull moments around here so I have learned to take advantage of them when they come along. There aren’t any major problems to solve, nobody is sick, the neighbor’s aren’t complaining about anything and we have everything we need. It’s a moment to pause, sigh, catch my breath and be grateful. I know it won’t last forever, but it’s happening right now and I don’t want to miss it!