The Best New Thing Since Sliced Bread

The best new thing around here (since sliced bread) is climbing. Everyone is doing it, even the dogs. I must have missed the memo that went out to my family exclaiming “Let The Climbing Begin.” That’s not really surprising because I am always behind the times when it comes to the latest trends and fashions.

Tiny-Small has proven to be an excellent climber. She’ll climb anything, anything at all. Her dad left his truck door open and she climbed right in. Now we just have to worry about her trying to drive off into the sunset. That may sound ridiculous since she can’t reach the pedals, but it has happened to people before. Besides, she already knows where the keys go and how to work the windshield wipers. If that isn’t enough to put fear into a parents heart I don’t know what is. From now on all vehicle doors will be closed, locked, with keys hidden.
Rosie thinks she should be able to eat at the table with us. I am sure Tiny-Small agrees. This is why I never take a vote on anything going on around this place. I would lose for sure.
Now that she can climb so well, Tiny Small has computer and Internet access each and every time an adult leaves the room for 30 seconds. Of course, being the toddler that she is, Lucy wants computer access too. This causes a few power struggles and upset feelings. Lucy has become a bit of a toe-licker (it’s her revenge for having short legs) much to Tiny-Small’s disgust.
This has lead Tiny-Small to perfect the art of simultaneously scrolling websites in search of Elmo while shooing the dog away with her foot and free hand. There is usually nonstop screaming which eventually brings a flurry of adults into the room and a lot of “Get down from there! You’re going to fall. Stop kicking Lucy. Lucy, stop that!” It’s almost as good as a new party game, except nobody seems to be having all that much fun.

Standing on the glass topped, wagon wheeled, coffee table (that is perpetually covered with sticky finger prints and spilled juice) is always a fun experience. Well, except for any mothers who happen to be lingering around the room. Mother’s just watch horrified and imagine breaking glass and crashing to the floor babies sliced up by broken glass. I shiver just thinking about it. Unfortunately, even Lucy thinks standing on the coffee table is an inside adventure worth checking off her bucket list. I am not sure how she endures the higher altitude, but I’m no biologist.

I’m just an over tired frantic mother desperately trying to keep everyone alive for the next 24 hours. I take the AA motto “One Day At A Time” to heart in this situation because imagining trying to keep Tiny-Small alive for 18 years can be a little overwhelming and may lead to me locking myself in the closet, lying on the floor and burying my head under a sound proof pillow. I don’t really have time for that sort of self-indulgent melt down so I keep repeating the mantra, “One day at a time. One day at a time.”

Climbing into things can also be fun, at least until you try to get out again. For a good portion of each day I usually hear, “Help! Help! I stuck!!! I stuck!!!” coming from some part of the house. Sometimes Tiny-Small gets stuck in her clothes, under the bed, or in her toys. There are endless possibilities to be explored and she seems determined to explore every single one.

On this beautiful Monday I hope you get a chance to climb something besides the walls. It does seem to be what’s “hot” right now and I would hate for you to miss out on following one of the latest trends. Some people, as they age, will outgrow popular trends much like I gave up black gummy bracelets and jelly shoes in the 80’s. Some, however, never move on. My husband, for instance is still obsessed with climbing things like rocks, sides of mountains, and trees of any kind. I am sure his mother had a few sleepless moments while he was growing up. Me, I just keep repeating: One day at a time.

4 thoughts on “The Best New Thing Since Sliced Bread”

  1. Her mother was quite a climber too as I recall!! Remember that big pine tree up behind my parents house? It's amazing we didn't come crashing down!

    1. HAHAHA…my comment should say “our” houses not “out” houses. People are going to think we were peeing from trees or something. I am really grateful to have you in my life to help me remember all of those great times. I hope we get to grow really, really old together.

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