Tag Archives: relationships

She Wrote Me My Own Hallmark Card

mermaid sketch Hallmark cards
Daily Mermaid sketch No. 2

Molly Field wrote me a hallmark card in the form of a blog post. It made me cry a little and feel all mushy and sentimental inside. It’s good to have friends. Even imaginary ones like Jim calls all of my Internet pals. There is nothing imaginary about them though. These people are sometimes more real than the people I interact with in person. I am totally blushing by the title of Molly’s post, but if you want to see what got me all choked up you should read: The Amazing Lillian Connelly.

My Internet friends save me on a daily basis. They save from myself. When I get overwhelmed by motherhood and painting and blogging and cleaning and trying to be the best at everything, my friends remind me of my priorities. Alex over at Late Enough sent me a link to her post Writing As A Mother: The Price I Pay and it helped me tremendously. I recognized myself in her words. She gave me permission to choose family first which should be a no brainer, but when you are driven and passionate, you sometimes forget that what is most important to you is the people. THE PEOPLE! Plus, there is so much pressure to “be” your career, but some of us aren’t built that way. Once you figure out what is most important to you and get those priorities in order life starts to make sense again. Life doesn’t become perfect, but it becomes manageable. Happiness is worth paying a price for.

This week my friend Silvana shared a video of Amanda Palmer talking about creativity and the importance of writers and artists. Our job is to “connect the dots” we see in the world and to make sense of things. In the video, Amanda Palmer talks about courage and criticism and how our voices are only our own until someone else can relate to what we are saying, and then our personal stories become shared stories. You can watch the video here: Amanda Palmer On Creativity as Connecting Dots  and the Terrifying Joy of Sharing Your Art Online. You may be surprised to know that I often hold back in my writing (and in my art) because I don’t want to be criticized or to offend anyone. This 30 minute video changed the way I see my place in the world, my place on the Internet, and the value of my words. I am going to try to be more courageous from now on. It’s important. If you have some time I highly recommend watching this video, especially if you have ever wanted to write or paint something (or even say something), but didn’t because you were afraid people would disagree with you. I am not surprised Silvana was the one to share this video with the Global Niche group I am a member of. She is a master at connecting the dots. She has an eye for patterns and beauty. If you are on Pinterest just check out her boards SIlvana Vukadin-Hoitt and you’ll see what I mean.

On top of all of this, I had a big painting break through this week, and learned a lesson in letting go, which I am positive has to do with the three things above happening and with my writing this: Everything Right Is Wrong Again. When I wrote about my need to control the painting process something broke free and I was able to stop trying to control everything so much. It was like getting a new pair of glasses. Suddenly I could see things I couldn’t see before. Writing is such a powerful tool for opening up your soul, vomiting up your fears, and getting your head wrapped around all of the confusion and worry that builds up inside. Having friends, invisible or otherwise, to support you through some of these emotional processes is invaluable.

So, is there anyone in your life right now that you could write a Hallmark card to? Someone who needs a little boost and support? Someone that needs help in letting go of something trivial or holding onto something important? Bolster your courage and tell them what they mean to you. It could make all the difference in the world to them in this moment. Don’t let fear stop you from making a difference in the life of another.

Eat Fear!

 

Do You Need A Fairy Godmother?

Fairy Godmother
Two Fairy Godmothers doing Fairy Godmother things.

I could be your Fairy Godmother, unless you prefer a smaller, more realistic version, then you can have Tiny-Small as your Fairy Godmother.  She fits the part better than I do, but I can reach things on the top shelf, so we sort of balance each other out. Anyway, we are just a couple of out of work fairies looking to change the world for the better. Or, at least to make it look better by wearing wings and too many necklaces (Tiny-Small’s signature look). To be honest, she is the one trying to decorate the world, I am just trying to keep it clean(ish).

Fairy Gaga
Fairy Gaga

The other day I folded laundry wearing wings. I also wore wings in the garden. I vacuumed wearing wings. I talked on the phone to important people wearing wings. I pretended to eat plastic waffles wearing wings. I wore wings so much I forget I was wearing wings. I am still grateful the UPS man did not come by on that day. He has already seen me in too many compromising positions as it is. One day he will likely start blackmailing me with the secret, phone pictures he took of me wearing my Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer pajamas at 4 pm, on a Thursday, in July. He is going to get so rich.

Tiny-Small insists on being a butterfly, a moth, or a fairy, every morning when she wakes up. First, she demands to wear a dress. This is all before coffee or breakfast or when my brain turns on. Then, she brings me twenty-five necklaces from her jewelry box that she must wear all at the same time. Then she puts on the bracelets she stole from my jewelry box, and lastly, she puts on 3-5 plastic, princess rings. It’s quite an event. After that, she moves onto her hair where she either attaches several sparkling hair bows or a giant flower clip (or both). Usually, by this point, she turns to me and asks, “Why you not dressed too, Mama?” Then we put on our wings.

Anyway, I am a mother who wears fairy wings. So, not only am I a mom, a housekeeper, a doctor, a grounds keeper, a plumber, a builder, a cook, a chauffeur, a stylist, an electrician, a personal shopper, an artist, a blogger, an accountant, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, and a story-teller, but I am also a mythical creature with slightly too small, sparkling wings. I would have preferred to be a dragon or something cool like a Pegasus, or even a hobbit, but they don’t seem to make those kind of wings and costumes for little girls. At least they don’t sell them at the dollar store. So, instead, I am a fairy. Maybe a Fairy Godmother. I have to say, making people’s wishes come true or meddling in the love affairs of others would be right up my imaginary alley. If I lived in another land, or time, or maybe somewhere over the rainbow I am pretty sure that would be a viable career option for me.

It’s pretty cool to be as awesome as Tiny-Small is, at least for a few hours at a time. How many adults get to wear wings all day? How many actually want to is besides the point. I mean, some people like their high heels, and ties, and fancy cologne, but I’ll take a pair of fairy wings and my pajamas over ever having to actually be (or look like) a miserable old grown up, almost any day of the week. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself these days. I say “almost” because sometimes I like to wear my wings over Capri pants and a T-shirt too. Sometimes you just have to shake things up a bit, amiright?

Fairy Godmother's Still Do Laundry
Folding laundry in my wings like the Fairy Godmother boss I am.

The only disappointing thing about being part of the fairy folk community is I still have to do laundry and wash dishes, apparently. Can you believe that? I don’t remember reading about that in any of my books on mythical creatures. To be honest, not having to fold underwear, take out the garbage, or scrape food off of plates was my number one reason for getting into the Fairy Godmother business. So, I guess you could say I got fooled. I got tricked by an adorable little imp who sometimes wears fairy wings. She might even be a leprechaun. Or maybe a sprite. All I know is she has a tricky, devilish streak only a two-year old can truly get away with.

Tiny-Small in Fairy wings
We do Fairy Godmothers like other people do other mother-daughter things.

So, if you see a slightly disgruntled Fairy Godmother roaming around with an overly ecstatic, tiny, Fairy Godmother-child, you’ll know it’s me and Tiny-Small out trying to mess up the love lives of some other animated characters who don’t really exist. Wow, I ran out of breath just trying to read that line out loud. Good thing I have fairy powers to override any grammatical errors I may encounter. Anyway, we just like being silly and awesome because we refuse to grow up, ever, obviously.

If you need a Fairy Godmother leave a comment and we’ll get back to you somewhere between now and never-ever land, that is if we aren’t too busy folding laundry and washing dishes. Which, we totally will be. I mean, have you seen this place? The people who live here are total slobs, seriously.

 

 

 

My Besties Are Going AWOL From Social Media

 

My besties are going AWOL from social media. They are getting helicopter’d off this Internet island left and right. I am standing her waving as they run off into their “real” lives. By “real” lives I mean they are spending time with people in the flesh and doing stuff that does not require typing. I’d forgotten that even existed. I am kidding of course. I mean, I do have a two-year old that keeps me very grounded in the real world with potty training, building forts and washing a million loads of laundry each week. I am also slightly prone to exaggeration, but to be fair there is A LOT of laundry. There is also, usually, a lot of typing and chatting over nonsense like whether or not Adam Levine will ever follow my blog friend back on Twitter or whether or not I should give Tiny-Small a sticker for going potty next to the potty instead of inside the potty. These are not life changing events. These are just topics that keep me from facing my actual list of things to do. I am easily distracted.

Tiny-Small hugging a stuffed dog.
Plus, I have more time to spend with this girl (Tiny-Small hugging her stuffed dog that she named Barbara).

Mostly, my friends are taking breaks from Facebook. Some have actually deleted their accounts. I have to communicate with them by email which feels old-fashioned even though it really isn’t. It’s like hearing a song that was popular when you were in high school being played on the local, oldies radio station. Hopefully, at least a few of you still remember what a radio is. I have to admit, I kind of like the email exchanges. I have enough space to write lengthy philosophical observations and to share extensive personal information nobody probably wants to read. Email serves my wordy-ness well. I am reveling in my captive audience and unlimited character space. Given enough time, I may drive my friends right back to Facebook where I have to keep my interjections and introspections to a minimum. Only time will tell.

Still, I miss the give and take and smart, witty exchanges I had with my inner circle on Facebook. I miss the support and the moments of chit-chat I sometimes needed to recover from having my feelings hurt or when I need some honest feedback immediately because I am freaking out and being totally self-absorbed. They keep me in check. They remind me of my priorities and goals. They help me to laugh at myself. Friends are wonderful at diffusing a situation when diffusing is what you need the most. At the same time, with everyone on break I am forced to actually do work. Things are getting crossed off my “to-do” list. I signed up for Instagram. I joined some art communities. I learned how to make a Twitter newspaper. You can check that out here: Making Art 24-7. It’s my art paper generated from the people I have in my The Arts! Twitter list (If you are an artist and want to be on my list just send me a message on Twitter. I’ll add you to it).

I have also had more time to paint and to mess around with my website settings. I even had time to read blogs and leave comments yesterday. It was just like old times, when I first started blogging, before I had discovered the conversational aspects of social media. I have been less distracted by the little numbers on Facebook alerting me to new cat pictures being shared or messages about breast cancer awareness. The ping of an alert has lost its urgency. Maybe that is a good thing. Somehow, most of my besties going AWOL has forced me to be on a mini break too. I am kind of enjoying it.

Have you ever had this experience or deleted your Facebook account or another social media account? What was it like for you? Were you ever in my position where you became the last man standing? What was that like? Please feel free to over-share (you know I usually do).