Tag Archives: gardening

Desperate Housewife: Gardening Edition

 

Have you ever watched that show Desperate Housewives? I’m sure you have, I mean if I have seen it, everyone else has probably caught at least an episode or two by now. Anyway, there is always a character on that show gardening in a big, white hat, fancy clothes, and little hand shears of some kind. She carries a beautiful basket full of gorgeously clean gardening gloves and perfectly shiny, brand new gardening tools. Actually, that pretty much describes every gardening scene in every TV show or movie I have ever seen. This is so unrealistic, isn’t it?

 

I mean, when I garden, I just roll out of bed and go. My number one goal is to beat the heat. My second goal is to actually accomplish something. This means I am going to be up to my elbows and ankles in dirt, bugs, and plant life. I am not going to be wearing my finest clothing and I am definitely not going to be wearing white. I’m not even going to brush my hair, paint my nails, or make sure my clothes match before venturing outdoors. I may not even bother applying additional deodorant. Was that too much information? Sorry about that.

 

Nope, I’m going to be wearing one of my husbands (read about my metro sexual husband here) old T-Shirts, a pair of old shorts and my plastic Walmart shoes. I know, the shoes are beyond hideous, but they hose off nicely. If you are a fashion blogger, please know that I completely understand why you are suffering from revulsion right now and maybe ripping out some of your hair. It’s OK, and when you get a chance, please, Send Help!

 

The thing is, gardening is not a fashion show. Nobody is watching, unless you count the neighbor’s handyman who happened to come outside and see me posing for these pictures. I can only imagine what kind of crazy nonsense he thought was going on over here. I’m here to get a job done. As you can see from the pictures I have my work cut out for me. After weeks of almost daily rain and then incredibly high temperatures, the yard has been neglected and it shows. I spent most of the morning weeding and barely made a dent. It’s going to be a nice long week of mismatched clothing, unbrushed hair, and muddy feet. That’s OK, though, because at the end of the day my yard will be the real beauty. I’m just the desperate housewife behind the scenes.

Clown Car Gardening

With three dogs and a toddler circling me it took an unusual amount of patience and perseverance to repot my 73 seedlings. What a day! As quickly as I repotted a tiny tomato plant my daughter would pull it out like a weed and proudly flaunt her treasure in my face. Lucy, the little terror, was chewing the tops off of my pepper plants and “accidentally” knocking pots over left and right as she ran through them with pure joy and the kind of jubilance only a puppy can muster. The most terrifying moment was when Rosie, sporting a long, long leash, ran around my menacing toddler a few times. The leash was wrapped securely around my child’s waist when Rosie started escorting her around the yard completely on the verge of knocking her over and dragging her around at every hesitant turn.

Moments before, Jim had ducked into the house under the guise of making a quick cup of tea. How amusing that he reappeared moments before the repotting was completed and moments before I pulled out the rest of my hair in frustration. That was the longest cup of tea ever made. His timing is impeccable when it comes to escaping dirty work and the mob that surrounds it. However, when he arrived I was so grateful for his assistance that I quickly forgave his long absence. I even ignored his obligatory offer to help me even though it was obvious everything had already been done. Seeing the bald spots on my head and my hair blowing around in the wind he quickly grabbed the baby and took her on a sight seeing exhibition to his shop to look for the evil Micky-Mok.

I yelled cautionary tales to their backs as they walked away. That cat is a vicious beast, but for a few minutes of uninterrupted work and silence I’ll allow my first born to face the treachery that is a gray, furry cat named Mik-Mok. At least as long as her daddy is by her side.

I was able to clean up the mess in peace. At least we’ll have a big garden this year. Keeping my fingers crossed that we don’t have the same probems we had last year.

The Seedlings Have Sprouted

The seedlings have sprouted.

We planted the seeds for our annual garden and the heirloom tomato and basil seeds have sprouted. We have had limited success with our New Mexico gardening due to various problems. The first year we were living in a very dry, hot part of the state and didn’t provide enough shade or water so our plants did not produce much. That was the year of the $25 tomato. The next year the birds descended on the greenery and munched away at the plants. The following year we covered the garden with netting, but the rabbits found access underneath it. Then there was the year all we could grow was squash, squash and more squash. Last year, after a move, we had beautiful black soil and ideal humidity, but the deer jumped the fence and devoured entire plants, roots and all. We built a taller fence and hopefully this year we will have victory! Keep your fingers crossed, my friends. I am desperate to eat a ripe…anything!

 

The seedlings have sprouted.
Look at those innocent seedlings …they don’t have a fighting chance!

The seedlings have sprouted. Will I keep them alive or will they meet their demise? What kind of gardening mishaps have you had?