Tag Archives: food

Cheese Ban And Gettin’ Healthy

“Cheese is your problem. You need to stop eating so much of it.” Jim said as he reported what the nutritionist told him. Then, one, lonely tear trickled down his face as what he just said sunk in. NOT THE CHEESE! It’s too big a sacrifice to make.

We are having a cheese crisis over here. We have to ban it from our lives as part of our “gettin’ healthy” (as Tiny-Small calls it) weight loss plan. Jim needs to lose 10 lbs. I need to lose 20. We’ve decided to get serious about it. We’ve been exercising, lifting weights, and emphasizing portion control. It’s been going well, but there have been a few tough moments and some  crying. The crying mostly occurs over the loss of ice cream and cheese. Sometimes the crying occurs over muscle aches and pants that STILL DO NOT FIT despite all of the effort we have been putting into our healthy regimen for weeks now. Ok, I am the only one crying about the pants thing. Jim has a broken heart over the ice cream. He’s mourning the loss of delicious foods. I am mourning the loss of my wardrobe. He stares into the freezer with a sad face on. I stare into my closet and grumble about how nothing fits.

Cheese ban And Gettin' Healthy
I love you, Cheese.

We’re trying not to focus on losing weight. We’re trying to focus on being healthy. Mostly because I don’t want Tiny-Small to see her mom focused on what the scale says. It just seems like such a stereotype. Plus, I really want to be fit and strong more than skinny. Like a ninja. Like a kick-boxing mommy blogger with a paintbrush. So, I say things like, “I better get more steps in today so I can stay healthy.” or “Let’s see if we can find some healthy food options to take the place of this wonderful, creamy, insanely delicious cheese.” Or something like that.

I’m not really doing this well because Tiny-Small told Jim he was fat. Then she told me that one day she is going to grow up and have a fat belly just like mine. She beamed with pride at the thought. I cringed at the word “fat” and felt sad that I had most likely introduced the word into her vocabulary. Also, she seems to think having a fat belly is the way to go. I can’t blame her because sometimes, after exercising and eating carefully and not seeing any results, I look at the ice cream and think “Why not?” Like Jim said, “Sometimes I’d rather eat cheese and chocolate and just be chubby.” Unfortunately, the next time he goes to the VA for a physical they will likely measure his girth again and he will get the lecture, so better to nip this in the bud now, right?

Plus, Tiny-Small does catch me on the scale once in a while. Like every morning. I can’t help it. The scale is right there and I step on it while waiting for her to pee and scream, “Wipe my butt, Mom!” So, I am a terrible role model for body acceptance and all of that right now. I’m not sure how I could do it better, but I am trying to make the focus on health and not skinny. I just hope she gets the bigger message here.

The best part is when she helps me measure my waist. She always squints at the numbers and declares, “You are six inches around and 8 inches tall, Mom. I’m 32 inches.” We are still working on numbers, you guys, and the idea that I could be 8 inches tall is probably the direct result of watching Stuart Little too many times. She tells me I weigh 38 pounds. I try to imagine that. I may have weighed that when I was three years old.  Because she goes to the doctors with me, she usually also wants to check my blood pressure at this point. Our mornings are busy. This gettin’ healthy thing is kind of hard. Especially when you aren’t a Spring chicken anymore.

Cheese Ban And Gettin' Healthy
True Love.

If I could predict one thing, it would be that Tillamook will be our downfall. That’s what we fantasize about now. We used to fantasize about fancy vacations, winning the lottery, and making out with Johnny Depp. Wait, I’m not sure Jim fantasized about Johnny Depp so picture whichever hot actress you can think of and insert her name where Johny’s is. I can’t think of a single hot actress right now because my mind is on the cheese: I love you, Man. Let me count the ways: cheddar, swiss, mozzarella, provolone, havarti, muenster, brie, limburger, camembert, asadaro, parmesan, gargonzola, asiago, romano, gouda….

My stomach is sending me death threats.

Time to eat the spinach and kale. Time to run in circles and pretend I don’t mind missing out on the best food of all time.

Time to focus on gettin’ healthy.

This post was not sponsored by Tillamook or the cheese industry, but if someone wants to send us free cheese we will take it. Just don’t tell the nutritionist. Cheese will be our dirty little secret.

Dear Cheese, I am willing to run extra miles just to eat you.

Love always, Lillian.

 

Share The Love Sunday: Recipes with Fruits and Vegetables in Unusual Places

It’s Share The Love Sunday. It’s so special it only happens when the wind blows West, the stars align and something spectacular gets found on the Internet. I’m all about sharing the good stuff.  This week it’s fruits and vegetables in unusual places. I know it sounds weird, and it is, but it’s also delicious.

Brussel sprouts
Brussels Sprouts: Not actually in any of these recipes, but is in fact an unusual vegetable.

I made pizza with fruit on it this week. One had apples and one had peaches. Intrigued? Click these links and get the recipes. Add some more fruits and vegetables to your diet. And add more pizza. Every diet needs more pizza, right?

They were both excellent! I promise.

BBQ Chicken Apple Pizza by Lemon Tree Dwelling.

Summer Peach and Balsamic Pizza by love and olive oil.

*Disclaimer: I used whole wheat pizza crust that I made myself for both recipes. I also added bacon because bacon means nobody can complain. Nobody did either. Both pizza’s were a hit!

I also made zucchini cookies. I know, sounds strange, right? They are delicious. Tiny-Small gobbled them up and I laughed my maniacal laugh because I tricked her into eating something green.  Awesome.

Zucchini Bread Cookies by Vanilla & Spice.

Strawberry cake anyone? Fresh strawberries, real butter, lots of Greek yogurt? It’s all in here. This cake is so moist and delicious. I didn’t even make the frosting for it. Seriously, it’s that good.

Fresh Strawberry Yogurt Cake by A Spicy Perspective.

Do you ever put fruits and vegetables in unusual places? In food…I only want to know about the food. Recipes. Nothing else…lalalalalalala. That’s me plugging my ears to all of you pranksters and humorists out there. I meant do you have any recipes with fruits and vegetables that are kind of unusual?

Happy Sunday! Tiny-Small says, “Eat more fruits and vegetables.”

OK, that was really me saying that with a big helping of wishful thinking. Tiny-Small would tell you to eat more candy. She really would. She’s three. She’s got candy on the brain 24-7, unless, of course, she’s thinking about ice cream.

Enjoy!

 

Paleo Diet: Plate Free Dining?

I’m not very good at diets, but I might try this Paleo diet I keep seeing all over Pinterest. Not for the reasons you’d suspect, probably, but because I hate washing dishes. If you don’t know what the Paleo diet is, just Google it.

I’ll wait.

I mean, I don’t fully understand it enough to tell you about it with my own words. Plus, I don’t really have an opinion on it being good or bad for your health. Seriously, this is the worst post ever written about the Paleo diet because all I care about is getting out of washing the dishes and fashion. I’m not actually going to say anything important about it. I’ll leave that to the food experts. Besides, I’m too busy planning my leopard print wardrobe and wondering which dog we could rename “Bam-Bam” or possibly “Pebbles.” I’d even consider changing my name to Wilma and naming my chicken Dino (she does look like a dinosaur).

I told you I wasn’t good at diets. I’m too easily distracted. Obviously.

Google the Paleo diet yet? OK, good.

Eat like a caveman. Kind of cool idea, right? I keep picturing myself dressed like Tarzan, well, maybe like Jane, gnawing on a giant turkey leg like they sell at the Renaissance fair. I’ll finally get a pet cheetah. I mean, pet chimpanzee named Cheetah. An actual cheetah would be insane. If I had an actual cheetah how would I walk it…or catch it when it ran away? I can barely keep up with Rosie. She out runs me at a brisk walk. Plus, I’m pretty sure a cheetah would just eat me because I’d be covered in turkey leg grease and look like a leopard. I don’t even know if that makes any sense. The truth is Jim already said I couldn’t have a pet cheetah so let’s just leave it at that.

The Paleo Diet Could End The Dish Washing Crisis Now!

I didn’t think twice about going on the Paleo diet the first time I read about it. I could never give up cheese. Or yogurt. Or, be still my heart, ice cream! Not to mention sweet potatoes are frowned upon and so are beans. I could never give up beans. When would I sing my favorite song about beans being the musical fruit? Plus, I’d probably get kicked out of New Mexico. Beans go with red or green just like chocolate goes with other chocolate. You can’t live here and not eat beans, unless you want to be friendless. Plus, cheese goes on beans, so there is that….

Anyway, all of that changed yesterday when I noticed a recipe to make pizza crust out of cauliflower. I’m not sure what kind of pizza doesn’t have cheese, but then I realized pizza crust is kind of like a giant plate. Then I started imagining my turkey leg on my pizza crust plate. Pizza crust is edible. This means you can eat your plate. If I go Paleo I may never have to wash dishes again. That would be awesome. Also, I would look cute having a picnic on my faux giraffe skin while petting my chimpanzee and NOT washing dishes afterwards. I’d probably smile more often and have a much higher life-happiness score too.

I’m giving the Paleo diet a second look. I mean, would I? Could I give up ice cream for plate free dining? It’s certainly a possibility I am looking into. Plus, I’ve always wanted a pet chimpanzee and I do love cauliflower. It’s only a matter of time before someone comes up with a recipe for cauliflower ice cream, right? When they do, I’ll be ready with adorable bones tied in my hair!

 

P.S. If you are on the Paleo Diet, I applaud you. It looks kind of hard. I mean you can’t eat Twinkies. That alone just proves you have the kind of moral strength and fortitude that I am seriously lacking. I wish I could be more like you and less like the flour loving cheese eater that I am. Let me be an example of what not to do. Seriously.

 

 

Save