The other day was my birthday so Jim took me out to lunch. Just the two of us! Seriously, we haven’t been anywhere alone together since our December 31st wedding anniversary. We don’t get out much because I can’t seem to find a babysitter that will actually show up. Maybe all of the babysitters in town read my blog and see that picture of Tiny-Small screaming and just get real, real scared or something. I don’t know, but other people have weekly date nights and we have bi-annual date nights. I am not complaining, at least not too loudly, because I am sure some couples out there don’t get date nights at all.
You’d think since we don’t get out much that we would have intense adult conversations about important things, but no, we talk about silly stuff and spend as much time as possible laughing. We save the serious conversations for right before bed, to ensure we get the least amount of sleep as possible. This lunch date was no different, we talked about ridiculous things:
Jim: Did you hear Snoop Dog changed his name to “Snoop Panther”?
Me: Wait, I thought he changed it to Snoop Lion.
Me: Yeah. What if I changed my name? Like to, “The Artist Formerly Known As Lillian Connelly.” I want to be like Prince.
Jim: What if you changed it to “Princess Lion” instead? Although that kind of sounds like animal porn.
Me: Animal porn?!
Jim: Yeah, porn for animals. Princess Lion would be the star.
We were sitting on the same side of the table facing the window because that seemed sort of romantic (and also because we can’t hear what the other person is saying when we sit across from each other). We couldn’t hear (mostly) because it was a noisy, crowded restaurant, but also because we’re both going deaf. Jim with old age (haha) and me from listening to Nirvana too loudly on my Walkman in high school. Stupid teenage angst.
Just then, as we were laughing about my animal porn star name, a man with a motorcycle drove by in front of us nice and slow like. His dog was sitting in front of him, on the motorcycle. Jim and I both went silent and then burst out laughing. It was like a sign from the animal porn gods or something.
So, please, refer to me from now on as The Artist Formerly Known as Lillian Connelly or as Princess Lion…soon to be “The Artist Formerly Known As Princess Lion.” Also, please do not take your dog for a ride on your motorcycle. Let’s leave those antics for the animal porn stars. They’ve been trained to do this nonsense, obviously.
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