Category Archives: Family

Life With a Toddler

 

There I was with peanut butter on my pants, gel medium on my phone, and a permanent slice of very old banana permanently affixed to my linoleum floor. That was the moment I realized my life had become one big, sticky mess. Life with a toddler can be summed up in one word: messy. Maybe two words would be better: super messy. No, it’s three words: Super, Sticky, Messy. There is just no avoiding it no matter how hard you try to.

Sometimes, however, I do like to keep score. For example, it is 1:30pm and so far my daughter has worn three different outfits and I am not even dressed yet. When I do manage to get dressed and out of the door I find jelly hand prints on the back of my pants or marker drawings down the arm of my jacket. Toddler win; motherhood fail.

Life With a Toddler

Her hair is combed and styled in a cute little ponytail and mine…well…mine is a disaster. Speaking of hair, my hairdresser suggested that I blow my hair out and style it once every three days. I should just wake up on the non-styling-days, spritz it with a little water, and go. She obviously does not live with a toddler. Most days I end up with oatmeal, dog water, or some other food related item in my hair. It has to be washed every single day and I usually don’t have time to style it in any flattering way. My daughter, however, is dressed and coiffed beautifully every morning!

My daughter helps me clean up her spills by dragging a paper towel through the puddle on the floor while yelling joyfully, “Messy! Messy! Mess!” Then she usually rolls around in it, walks through it, or tries to eat it. On the other hand, I have washed the floor several times and it still looks like a barrel of monkeys has taken up residence in my kitchen. Two points for team-toddler and zero for team-mommy.

 

In this game of mommy versus toddler, my daughter is on a winning streak. She is a champion at this game and I will never score enough points to catch up. One thing I have learned from my messy life with a toddler is that banana is stronger than Gorilla glue and Crazy glue combined. It is stuck to my floor and it is not coming off anytime soon. I’m thinking of marketing it as an all-natural, organic alternative to the glues available in stores now. Anyone interested in buying some? It might even come with a free piece of linoleum stuck to it.

 

Calling The Plumber Just Might Save Your Marriage

Save your marriage by knowing when to give in! Advice I like to give, but seldom take. I hope you enjoy my tale. I’m not sure any other story sums up my marriage this beautifully (yes, I am laughing on the inside).

We had a pipe burst last year, yes, I said LAST year. The cold was so terribly cold last February that pipes were bursting all over town. We tried to fix it ourselves, more than twice, but it still leaked.

This might be a good time to fill you in on some personal history. My husband is not a fix-it-guy. He is more of a call-and-pay-someone-else-to-fix-it-type. I, however, come from a long, long, stubborn line of get out the tool box and fix-it-yourself-types. I am sure by now you can see where this is headed!

save your marriage

So, first we cut the pipe and capped it off. Shortly after we realized that the pipe we just capped not only provided water to an outside faucet, but also to our second bathroom. We went back to the hardware store for new parts, uncapped the pipe and reattached it to the pipe that was now sticking out of the ground. We turned the water on and presto the bathroom sink was running again. We buried the pipe and felt pretty smug about our accomplishment. A few weeks later, however, we noticed the ground above where we had fixed the pipe seemed considerably damp compared to the area surrounding it. At first we talked about how it had rained recently and then very deliberately buried our Ostrich heads in the proverbial sand.

When the water stain began to spread across the ground and luscious green grass began sprouting up around the faucet (and above the broken pipe) we could no longer ignore the fact that we had completely failed in our endeavors. My husband, being much more of a realist than I, suggested we call a plumber. I decided it would be too expensive so I demanded we dig the pipe up (and by “me” I really meant “him”). So, out he went and dug up the pipe. I tried to be encouraging. I said things like, “We can do this!” and “It’s not that hard to do.” Then we both stared at the leaking pipe. We were in the middle of moving into a new house so we just turned the water off and left. That was last April.

We spent last weekend attempting to repair the pipe again. Special glue was purchased. It claimed to be able to bond even the wettest of PVC pipes together. We applied the glue and waited the allotted two hours and still, it leaked. It not only leaked, it sprayed water into the air. We discussed and argued about what to do next. Maybe the pipe was metric and we needed couplings from Mexico instead of the 1/2 inch pieces we were using. By this time we were invested in the project both emotionally and financially. I decided it was time to call a plumber, but my husband said, “I should be able to do this” and “I’m not giving up now!” So, there he stood, knee deep in mud sawing at the pipe. We argued more about which piece of pipe went where and the best way to connect it all together. A weekend without water can wreak havoc on any marriage! Grumpy, we both went to bed tossing and turning. We were angry with each other and at the pipe gods.

Finally, the next morning, my husband reported that he was not a plumber. We quickly called one and begged for service. The plumber arrived and fixed the leaky pipe in less than 15 minutes. Then he replaced the leaky faucet in the kitchen. It was a miracle! We were leak free and flush with running water in less than thirty minutes. We couldn’t stop smiling and congratulating each other on a job well done.

The moral of the story is calling the plumber just might save your marriage.