I’m tree obsessed for this challenge. I’m just a tree painting fool. I missed posting yesterday. I painted, but I didn’t write my blog post. I don’t know what happened. I think I just got tired by the time I had an opportunity to sit down and type so I did some art journaling instead. Turning on the computer, fighting with my sketchy internet connection, and putting words to virtual paper just seemed like too much work.
I don’t know about you, but by the time 8pm rolls around my brain starts to shut down. I am ready for the work day to end. I just want to relax and not have to think too much about anything important. Getting Tiny-Small to bed is always a busy and tiring process. Some nights I am just plain exhausted.
I’m not only painting every day in January, but writing too. I love to write, but sometimes I just don’t have anything important to say. I am in awe of people who blog daily and never seem to be at a loss for words. How do they always have a topic to write about? Writing each day and being relevant and smart, or witty and emotionally connected, has to be more difficult than painting daily. My days sometimes run together and I don’t have anything interesting happen or any good blog fodder. I envy people who seem to have an endless supply of experiences to write about. Actually, maybe I don’t. Sometimes a good, boring day is better than one filled with high drama. I have to be careful about what I wish for, right? Enjoy the ordinary days more when they happen. Trouble will find us soon enough!
The only thing I have to say today is that I am starting to feel the time crunch. As I attempt to write and paint daily I am also trying to get some heart jewelry made and listed in my Etsy shop before Valentine’s Day, prepare for a small jewelry sales event I am doing in about a week, get our tax information together for the accountant, photograph work for two juried shows I am entering in 2015, and of course all of the regular home and childcare stuff that I usually do. In the middle of these new adventures Tiny-Small sprayed water on my Macbook and it’s no longer working (she was trying to help me clean up). It was terrible timing because I rely on my Macbook to get my work done. The good thing is I do have everything backed up on an external hard drive.I just have to save up for a new Mac! In the meantime I am scurrying to retake photos and relearn how to use Windows. Luckily we have a backup computer thanks to Jim planning ahead!
Anyway, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed for a few days now. When I get overwhelmed I do a lot of list making and also spend too much time staring into space like a deer caught in the headlights. My brain is trying to remember too many things at the same time. The lists help, but priorities can get a little squirrely. With deadlines looming it can be difficult to decide which to-do item is most important. I’m also trying to consciously make special time for Tiny-Small because with all the things I am trying to do I don’t want her to feel like she is getting lost in the shuffle. It’s all about finding some type of balance and that is never easy!
There are times when I think about giving up on blogging and painting because I want to have more control over my time and less things to worry about. I imagine I would do a better job keeping up on the housework, preparing meals, and teaching Tiny-Small important things. House management and parenting is certainly more than enough to keep me busy. These moments always pass. I really find housework boring and I definitely need something outside of taking care of other people to feel satisfied about my life. I’ve come to recognize these moments as growing pains. It takes some time to adjust to new or bigger demands. As my businesses progresses there are new opportunities and new stressors (even good stresses are still stress) that stretch us in new directions. It’s easy to want to quit when it gets difficult and go back to what we know instead of forging ahead into unknown territory. So far I have chosen to keep moving forward despite the overwhelm and struggle. I know next week I’ll cross some major things off my list and get some relief from the pressure. It’s all part of the ebb and flow! Recognizing that is an important step in resiliency.
I hope you do something creative this Saturday or get outside among the trees!