Twas the night before the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
The mother was scurrying like a frantic little mouse.
The stockings were drooping and in disrepair,
Because they had been hanging for weeks and were filled with dog hair.
The children were secretly coloring the walls a bright red,
While visions of iPods and lalaloopsy dolls danced in their heads.
The mother was baking and wrapping when “WHAP!”
The dog and the youngest child both jumped in her lap.
She jumped with a start and cookies flew from the platter,
The dad came running to see what was the matter.
That’s when he saw the dog in a flash,
Scarffing up all the cookies among the broken, platter smash.
The dad started yelling when wouldn’t you know?
The cat climbed the Christmas tree, knocking it slightly, just to and fro.
The lights were all dangling, the kitty just leered,
When what happened next was what we all feared.
The tree crashed to the floor without grace, nice and quick,
Then the dad muttered and cursed something about poor old St. Nick.
The glass was all broken, the cat was quite shamed,
The dog kept eating the cookies like nothing had changed.
The mother was crying, but still looked like a Vixen,
While the children were screaming about the broken reindeer named Blitzen.
The dad picked up the tree until it was tall,
That’s when even more ornaments started to fall!
The dad kept asking the cat, “Why? Oh why? OH WHY?”
That’s when they all noticed something starting to fly.
What could it be someone asked, but nobody knew,
That’s when it fell with a crash right on dad’s shoe.
Loudly, the dog started barking with a deep “Woof!”
And the smallest child removed the object from dad’s foot with an Oomph.
The small child yelled, “look what I’ve found!”
It was the star from the top of the tree on the ground.
The dad moaned in pain as he looked at his foot,
Then without notice he just went caput.
He fainted and fell to the floor on his back
He looked like a crumpled, old, potato sack.
The dog ran to lick him with a face full of merry,
The mom rushed to his side, it was very, very scary.
The dad opened his eyes and looked up nice and slow,
To see his whole family looking down at him so.
His daughter was grinning at him with all of her teeth,
While his son crowned his head with a mostly mangled wreath.
That’s when everyone started laughing, so deep from their bellies,
As the dog ate the last of the cookies, with middles filled with jellies.
The dad sat up and got a good look at himself,
In the mirror across from him, still on the shelf.
He looked at himself with the wreath on his head
And was thankful that his family at least was well fed.
With everything broken at least he had work,
It didn’t really matter that his life was berserk.
His children were happy his wife was a rose,
He decided to smile and with great care brushed off his clothes.
He announced to them all, “I love this family, it is filled with love,”
Then without anyone noticing he gave the dog a small shove.
The ornaments were glued and replaced by that night,
And the next day, Christmas Eve, luckily, happened just right.