Our Elf on the shelf hasn’t gotten off the shelf in five days. She hasn’t moved one single inch or drank an entire bottle of scotch while swimming in a Barbie jacuzzi. Nope, she’s made of stone like a kid caught in a never ending game of freeze tag. She’s just sitting on the piano holding onto the stocking holders for dear life. The worst part? I am pretty sure Tiny-Small is relieved our elf doesn’t move. She’s not exactly a fan of the elf on the shelf.
The first day the elf appeared Tiny-Small looked at me like I had lost my mind when I started waving to it. Tiny-Small told me the elf was a toy. She informed me that the elf couldn’t talk. She told me it wasn’t a real elf. She looked up at me with her big, blue eyes like I had grown a second head and I stopped mid wave to consider what she was telling me. When I told her the elf was magic and sent by Santa, Tiny-Small thought for a minute and then said, “That’s kind of creepy, Mom.” Then she said she didn’t want that elf in her room while she was sleeping. I looked at the elf and couldn’t blame her. I didn’t want to wake up and find that elf on the shelf staring at me either.
So, I just let it go. Because, when I really thought about it, the elf on the shelf is a little creepy. While I had imagined putting the elf on zip lines, in parachutes, and riding in Barbies RV, I realized that was more for my benefit and enjoyment than for Tiny-Small anyway. I mean, I wanted to be in on the elf on the shelf phenomenon. I wanted to be in on the funny jokes. I wanted to sneak in with the popular grownups and be cool. The truth is, I mostly forget to move the Elf anyway and we don’t have a Barbie jacuzzi or a bottle of scotch. I am too tired most nights to construct a zip line, so this elf on the shelf fantasy of mine was probably doomed to be an epic failure right from the beginning. I mean, my intentions were good, but in reality, I probably wasn’t going to pull it off anyway. So, if Tiny-Small thinks it’s creepy and I am too tired to move the elf in a creative way most nights, and let’s not forget I’ve never been cool anyway, maybe the whole elf on the shelf epic fail is a blessing in disguise, right?
I guess for now, we will just put our imaginative energy into things that are still “real” in Tiny-Smalls mind…like mermaids, unicorns, and furry monsters. For some reason they are not creepy at all, plus I don’t have to move them every night. Win-win!