Not to just repeat the title, but I am going to repeat the title: 10 things painting has taught me about relationships. I mean, that is what this post is about. It’s a list. A long list (forgive me), mostly about relationships, but also a little about painting. Maybe I should just zip it and start the list.
1. Not everyone is going to like you or your painting. It’s true. You are fabulous, but there will be a few people who just can’t stand you. Some will tell you to your face. Some will avoid you. Some will talk behind your
paintings back. Some people will just blurt out, “I don’t like you. I don’t like your paintings.” Some will just walk right by. Some will tell other people, “Who does she think she is painting THAT?” The good news shows up in number two:
2. There will always be people who think you are super cool, amazing, smart, funny and nice. They may also think the same thing about your painting. They will say, “Look at that beautiful use of color.” They also might say, “That girl is going places and I hope she remembers me when she is famous.” They will want to be your friend and hang your painting on their wall. These are the loves of your life. Hug them like you mean it. Good friends are sometimes hard to find and they help you combat that negative energy you feel from all of those number one type people (see above) out there.
3. Some people won’t like you at first, but you will start to win them over with your charm and wit and free baked goods. They will get past the initial shock and awe that is you and realize you aren’t half bad. You might even become friends…possibly best friends. Same thing with painting. Someone might see your painting one day and exclaim, “What the heck is that crap?” A few days later you will catch them looking at it and hear them say, “I think I am starting to like this one.” Then, a few days later they will buy it and hang it on their wall. Seriously, this stuff happens ALL THE TIME.
4. People get jealous. Sometimes they get jealous of your painting. They will either think you spend too much time with other people (or with your painting). They might think your other friend (or painting) is cooler than they are. They might be jealous of your ability to attract the beautiful people to you (or to your painting). They might get jealous of your talents, ability, time…this list could go on forever. My husband gets jealous of my Twitter followers because he thinks I would rather talk to them about politics (he’s right because they can’t break my TV). I know that has absolutely nothing to do with painting, but it has everything to do with jealousy. My point is, people get jealous. I get jealous. Jealousy makes the world go ’round. I should totally turn that into a love song. I mean, sometimes jealousy gets you motivated, but also it can put a lid on your creative process. So, just like in life and relationships, don’t let the jealousy of other people stop you from doing great things. Also, don’t let your own jealousy stop you from doing great things. Just do great things and be happy that you are doing them.
4. If you want to have strong, solid relationships with people you have to spend time with them, care about them, and devote some energy towards their well-being. Same thing with painting. Showing up is half the battle. Practice makes perfect. All of the practice I’ve been doing with my painting has paid off. All of that reading to my daughter, feeding her good foods, and pretending to be both a ballerina and a monkey starring in an off-off broadway version of Annie has paid of too. My daughter and I get along pretty well. Don’t be afraid to dive in and give something your all. It works.
5. Sometimes you have to know when to walk away from a painting…same with people. Some people just weren’t meant to be and some paintings just weren’t meant to be either. That’s Ok though because look at number 6:
6. There will always be new ideas and new paintings and new people coming into your life. You may have some dark, lonely periods. You may lose your creative spirit or a few friends, but they will be replaced with a new vision and a new support system. Change is one thing you can count on. You will not be like you are right now forever (good or bad).
7. Sometimes you won’t be able to paint something and then two years later you can paint it like a boss. Same thing with friends and loved ones. Sometimes they go out of your life for a while and pop back in when you least expect it. There are always surprises in art and in relationships.
8. Sometimes you just don’t have the right tools to work with. You want to paint, but the paint is sticky and the canvas is torn. It’s a good idea to get the best tools you can. Same thing with people. You can surround yourself with positive, supportive people who believe in you or you can surround yourself with people who don’t. You will go much further and be much happier if you have the right tools and the right people in your life.
9. Painting is messy. Paint gets on your clothes. Things go right and wrong at the same time. Same thing with relationships. They aren’t always easy. Things go up and things go down and sometimes things go round and round. It’s OK to get messy. Develop strong problem solving skills and you’ll go far both in art and in relationships.
10. If you are struggling with your painting ask for help. Someone out there knows more about what you are doing than you do. Don’t be afraid to get an education on the subject. Same thing for relationships. Learn how to communicate or get some help from a professional when you are struggling. Don’t spend years doing things that don’t seem to be working for you. Ask for help.
That is my long-winded wisdom for the day. Stop laughing at the horses! You’ll make them cry and ruin their watercolor.