I know nobody hands out gold medals for bed making, but they should because I want one. I’m not an exceptional bed maker by any means, but I deserve some credit. The other day Jim wanted to go to bed and I was right in the middle of doing some blog related work. The bed was not made. I was, at that moment, washing the sheets. He decided to make the bed himself. It went something like this:
Jim: I want to make the bed. Where are the sheets?
Me: On the shelf under the towels.
Jim (moments later): Where are they? I don’t see any.
Me: You know where the towels are?
Me: They are on the shelf below the towels.
Then there was some grunting and sighs of exasperation. Then some shuffling around and doors opening and closing.
Jim: Are you sure? Because I don’t see any.
Me: Go in the bathroom. The towels are on that shelf next to my closet.
Jim: I know where the towels are.
Me: Are you standing in front of the towels?
Jim: YES! I can see the towels.
Me: OK, look down.
Jim: Oh, I see the sheets now.
Then I heard some moaning and groaning like he was stretching for an Olympic event or something.
Jim: None of these sheets fit. They are all too small.
Me: Really? That’s strange. Get the cream colored ones. They will fit.
Jim: Cream colored?
Me: You know, kind of off-white, like a beige?
Jim: I don’t see any that color.
Me: They should be right there.
Then I hear more grunting and groaning and a few swears thrown in for good measure.
Jim: I can’t find the cream colored sheets and none of these other sheets fit.
I go upstairs and get the sheets and hand them to him and then hurry back downstairs to finish what I am doing. It’s quiet for a while.
Jim: These sheets don’t fit either. They must be Queen size. I can’t get them on.
Me: Those sheets fit. Trust me. Just put them on the bed.
Jim (after more grumbling): Never mind. I’ll just sleep on the bed without sheets.
Me (GIANT sigh): I’ll be right there.
So, I go upstairs and put the sheets on the bed with one hand. I did it one handed just to prove a point. I know, I’m a jerk, but I had to show off a little bit. I mean, the house has become my domain. I might as well flex a little muscle, right? Plus, Jim has a Master’s degree. He was in the Army. How can he not know how to make the bed? How has he managed to live in this house for over a year now and still not know where the sheets are kept? These are questions I will likely never know the answer to. That man is a mystery.
The worst part is, even though I made the bed with one hand and never got a gold medal, he still managed to steal all of the blankets from me in the middle of the night. Sometimes, I wonder when we became such a stereotypical “Old Married Couple” but other times it really is just too funny and I can’t help but laugh.
Still, I want to win a Gold Medal in bed making.