Wonder Woman And The Cookie-Pop Fiasco

 

It was a rookie mistake, at least that’s what I told myself. I overfilled the cookie pans. The cookies overflowed as they baked becoming one big, sponge-like, yet crusty mess with sticks coming out from four sides. You guessed it, I was trying to make cookie-pops. This fad has probably come and gone for the rest of you because it just caught my eye. I am always fashionably late for anything fashionable or a day late and a dollar short as my father-in-law likes to say. It’s not the end result, but the effort I put into it or is it the journey that is supposed to matter most? Enough with all of these sayings! My point is the end result was a disaster and it makes me feel better to pretend it was all about the journey, but we all know cookie-pops are all about the end result and not at all about the effort part or the journey.

It all started when I went to a Quinceanera last weekend and enjoyed eating cookie-pops. Then, the very next day, I was wandering aimlessly through Walmart where I discovered an entire aisle devoted to cake and cookie pans and supplies. After a few days of debate with myself, I went ahead and bought what I needed to make these delicious cookie treats. I imagined all of the amazing things I would make for holidays and birthdays. My creations would win awards. I’d be featured on Rachel Ray or have my own show on Oprah’s new TV network. I was feeling adventurous and maybe a little overconfident because I decided I was going to make cookie-pops and cake-ball-pops all at the same time. I kind of forgot about the toddler under foot and the three dogs asking to go outside and then asking to come inside and then asking to go outside (repeat as many times as possible). I’m not sure why I thought this would be a successful endeavor except that I like to imagine myself as Super Mom, sort of like Wonder Woman, but with a less charming figure and no bullet proof bracelets.

 

The first batch of cookie-pops overflowed, the second batch over cooked, and there was no third batch because apparently one cake mix only makes 8 cookies even though the directions claim it makes 12. Maybe I could have made 12 if I didn’t overfill the pans, but it seems seriously unlikely. The second batch may have been a success, but I somehow thought 20 minutes was enough time to get my daughter to bed, which probably tells you something about my ability to estimate time. Although, some people do claim that the crystals in this area cause a time warp or a black hole or something. I am guessing that we probably live directly over a very large quantity of crystals and will be sucked into the abyss at any moment. Three rounds of “Milly the Meerkat” (and a slight nod of the head that ended with me saying, “I am only resting my eyes”) later I remembered that I was supposed to be baking cookies. In a rush of panic I ran for the kitchen, yanked open the oven and stared at 4 very brown hockey pucks with sticks protruding from them. I toyed with the idea of frosting them anyway, but decided against it once I started to calculate the dental bills that would likely accumulate. How many of my friends and family would crack a tooth when they bit into the beautifully decorated, but deceptively hard cookies? Of course, in all reality, frosting them probably would have just made them look worse because I have no experience in that department either.

 

The cake-pops were frustrating in their own way too. Each step required a mandatory 2 hour waiting period while the pops cooled in the refrigerator. In the end though, they came out kind of cute. I’m looking forward to making some again. I made them look like Elmo from Sesame St. Well, they sort of look like Elmo if you kind of squint while looking at them and pretend you don’t notice that Elmo’s mouth is suspiciously missing. All in all it was a fun little adventure and the pops made my daughters day so I guess it wasn’t all bad! The only thing I regret is eating all of the mistakes. What kind of person decides to make cookies (covered in pure sugar) when they are right in the middle of trying to lose a few pounds? I don’t think Wonder Woman would ever do that sort of thing. She probably only eats rice cakes and drinks diet soda. I don’t think I will ever be able to squeeze into those bullet proof bracelets.

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